Wednesday, May 8, 2024



Your child, who suffers from schizophrenia, has been enticed by Facebook (Meta) to join a group called 'Remote Neural Monitoring', which specifically targets individuals who experience auditory hallucinations and paranoia. As a result, your son or daughter has ceased taking medication and denies having any psychiatric condition. However, the situation worsens when you search for this term on Google and are confronted with images that appear to have been deliberately created to portray individuals who hear voices in a ludicrous, inappropriate, and downright bizarre manner. It is not just one or two images that are disturbing, amateurish, and strange; rather, all of them are. It is perplexing how both Facebook and Google have allowed such content to proliferate. The way in which individuals are depicted in photojournalistic images significantly influences our perception of them. The consequences of these depictions can have far-reaching effects on our attitudes towards these individuals. Previously, your adult son or daughter, who already faced marginalization, may have elicited sympathy from others. However, now, branded as a 'Targeted Individual', your child has become a subject of ridicule.

Run Rudolph Run




Thursday, January 11, 2024



Your child, who suffers from schizophrenia, has been enticed by Facebook (Meta) to join a group called 'Remote Neural Monitoring', which specifically targets individuals who experience auditory hallucinations and paranoia. As a result, your son or daughter has ceased taking medication and denies having any psychiatric condition. However, the situation worsens when you search for this term on Google and are confronted with images that appear to have been deliberately created to portray individuals who hear voices in a ludicrous, inappropriate, and downright bizarre manner. It is not just one or two images that are disturbing, amateurish, and strange; rather, all of them are. It is perplexing how both Facebook and Google have allowed such content to proliferate. The way in which individuals are depicted in photojournalistic images significantly influences our perception of them. The consequences of these depictions can have far-reaching effects on our attitudes towards these individuals. Previously, your adult son or daughter, who already faced marginalization, may have elicited sympathy from others. However, now, branded as a 'Targeted Individual', your child has become a subject of ridicule.

Wednesday, February 15, 2023

outsider art - Denny Pace

 Movies and television shows, as well as other forms of entertainment, have the ability to shape how we see the world. However, the portrayal of mental illness in the media is not often one that is portrayed accurately and studies show that they negatively influence public perception while sustaining the stigma. 




Cartoon Heroes

People also ask

Schizophrenic Quilt - Glore Psychiatric Art Museum


 

we're all stars here

 

Monday, May 11, 2015

IN THE HOSPITAL Cole
spent most of his time in his room
the pills for 'the voices and visual "hallucinations"" made him sick and tired and hungry
they made his body writhe and flinch

eventually he made his way out of the room
it was important
the Dr said for him to "join the community"

mainly he watched television in "day room"

one night a nurse he had befriended brought a DVD of an old TV movie.
"Safety in Umber"
he had heard tales of the story concerning the book "Safety in Umber"
it was sort of an urban legend
how a studio was shut down because of it,supposedly because the film company was placing some type of"secret" code system in their films

"Safety in Umber" concerned some type of conspiracy perpetrated by some corporation or group trying to take over ,take over the world or something
the entire premise was laughable

the group in the book and the tv movie had  created their own style of governing
which began by getting families together to raise their children in a certain way
"the Way"would become commonplace in the decades to come
.the "group" with connections far and wide would see to it.

this "new world" is set in the near future  or the TV movie's idea of the near future in the 1970's
alot of white robes  and gold leaf
besides the awful costumes the future according to "safety in Umber" also concerns
 suppositions of Collective Mind Communication and something called the Endless Possibilities Program
 a silly movie, poorly shot ,the film stock and production values so bad that for no reason the colors would change mid frame.bad acting ,horrible music...

In the midst of this idiocy there is a boy brought up Umber style who happens to be  named Cole .

Cole grows up to a writer.A writer against "the Umber style"
A RUINER,he is called

just when you think he and some advocates have won this ridiculous "battle"over subversion or suppression .
out of nowhere a blonde named Josie  appears and  pokes the actor named  Cole's eyes out
as according to the blonde who vaguely..NO not vaguely looked like Cole's own mother says  "he cannot see the beauty he has tried to destroy."
It made about as much sense as the rest of the movie which ended abruptly with some type of joyous
celebration set to the music of some 1970's ideas of futuristic pop music.

"did you like the picture?"the nurse asked Cole when it was through

Cole nodded his head, groggy from the meds
"did you GET the picture?" she asked,making her fingers form some gesture of poking.As if she was going to poke out his eyes.

That didn't just happen/he thought returning to his room,deciding he would check out the next day.
he wasn't really hearing voices anymore nor seeing things.

Or that's at least what the nurse ,he thought ..(and to whom it would become more clear as time went on .
and as time ..all but stopped for Cole Cohen )
the nurse.
was .
implying with her gesture.

Friday, May 1, 2015

inertial imaging and the nanoelectromechanical systems (NEMS) resonator



 nanoelectromechanical system (NEMS) resonator  uses vibration to simultaneously reveal the mass and the shape of a single molecule - a feat which has not been possible until now.  

IMAGE


(IMAGE: Mathematics Professor John Sader
Credit: Photo: Peter Casamento)
 
The work of  creating  a microscopic tool, more than 1000 times thinner than the width of a single human hair was led by Professor John Sader at the University of Melbourne's School of Mathematics and Statistics .
Prof Sader says this technique revolutionises molecule detection for biologists and those involved in all fields that require  measurement of  extremely small objects or devices.

"One standard way to tell the difference between molecules is to weigh them using a technique called mass spectrometry. The problem is that different molecules can have the same weight. Now, we can tell them apart by identifying their shape," Prof Sader said.
"This technology is built on a new mathematical algorithm that we developed, called inertial imaging. It can be used as a diagnostic tool if you're trying to identify, say, a virus or a bacteria particle."
In mass spectrometry, molecules are ionised (or electrically charged) so that an electromagnetic field can interact with them. This interaction is then measured, which gives vital information on the molecule's mass-to-charge ratio.

"You can imagine situations where you don't know exactly what you are looking for, where you are in discovery mode, and you are trying to figure out the body's immune response to a particular pathogen, for example," Prof Roukes said.
"This new technique adds another piece of information to aid our identification of molecules, but now at the single molecule level, which could prove useful in biomedical applications, among other uses."
 Co-authors on the Inertial imaging with nanoelectromechanical systems paper include Mehmet Selim Hanay, Scott Kelber of Caltech and Cathal D. O'Connell and Paul Mulvaney of the School of Chemistry and Bio21 Institute at the University of Melbourne.
The work was funded by a National Institutes of Health Director's Pioneer award, a Caltech Kavli Nanoscience Institute Distinguished Visiting Professorship, the Fondation pour la Recherche et l'Enseignement Superieur in Paris, and the Australian Research Council grants scheme.

Sunday, September 7, 2014



"it's new .it's difficult,"He heard the voice say,"Isn't that the way it is with all new relationships.


you're the bitch,Cole
.It's how it works
.it ain't gonna work me singing you fucking lullabies.


it was my job to monitor Cole on weekends

he wasn;t the only one who made the mistake of writing about it
it just doesnt work that way I graphed him

he doesnt listen to me
he seems to have a thing for Ev
which is only natural

i told him writing about it was like trying to write about a roller coaster ride while you're on it.
just
enjoy the ride

Friday, August 1, 2014

In the mid 1960's (before the scandal with "Safety in Umbers") Gary Rainy and Alliance Pictures were forefront in sophisticated sound and emoting techniques.such as non localized sound
to be raised
on televised imagery...
and surrogate
parental "styling"
 inverting
Real Time
interaction
with
a more consistent ,warmer technological
interaction
of Tele -Presence

placed parental representational "figures"of authority purposely
cold and unstable
vs
neural 'starting place"of
child's surrogate -the TV set*


Harry F. Harlow, “Love in Infant Monkeys,” 1959

Source:  Photograph by Gordon Coster in Scientific American
An infant monkey clinging to its terry cloth “mother.”
Source: Courtesy of National Primate Research Center, University of Wisconsin
After long periods of complete isolation and maternal deprivation, which produced disturbed behaviors, Harry Harlow experimented with monkey “group psychotherapy.” After being placed in a zoo, the monkeys began to play together and groom one another, but they reverted to their abnormal behaviors when they were returned to Harlow’s laboratory.
The first love of the human infant is for his mother. The tender intimacy of this attachment is such that it is sometimes regarded as a sacred or mystical force, an instinct incapable of analysis. No doubt such compunctions, along with the obvious obstacles in the way of objective study, have hampered experimental observation of the bonds between child and mother. For this purpose we contrived two surrogate mother monkeys. One is a bare welded-wire cylindrical form surmounted by a wooden head with a crude face. In the other the welded wire is cushioned by a sheathing of terry cloth. We placed eight newborn monkeys in individual cages, each with equal access to a cloth and a wire mother. Four of the infants received their milk from one mother and four from the other. . . .
The monkeys in the two groups drank the same amount of milk and gained weight at the same rate. But the two mothers proved to be by no means psychologically equivalent. . . . Records made automatically showed that both groups of infants spent far more time climbing and clinging on their cloth-covered mothers than they did on their wire mothers. . . .
 
 
 preemptive to first introduce associations through artificial device.especially because Rainy Children future champions of modern thought were primarily to think in terms of symbols in a more binary capacity.
which would make these Rainy children "state of the art" concerning their interactions with foreseen technological

  • age 2 the mirrors were replaced by face time with a 3 dimensional projected cloud over the toddlers crib that would sometimes "smile"sound would also intermittently placate the child usually pitched to a soothing 25 megahurtz.sounding much like Rainy himself.

the child's interactions with these gentle vibrations were enough to move
the Rainy Children into a pre school environment.all but a few
high functioning enough to sit thru class
the addition of an "imaginary friend"would be added during the child's 4th year,

synthesized beginnings Rainy explained also made the initiation of LORE almost seamless.LORE was just one of the reasons for this technological "hands off" approach to early rearing.LORE involved quickening the child's link to televised indicators that would reinforce their kinship with the rainy clan.specific words and entire story lines,features,and programs that would not be introduced into the mainstream for 20 or 30 years were assimilated into the already fragmented collective minds of the Clan.A head start ,a heads up to the New Way.besides the smiles of the 3d clouds and comfort of the omni present sound devices.key pieces of pop Culture Cues .LORE relied extensively on Rainy keeping his and his followers feet always in the mainstream .always a rainy follower "in the loop" both in Washington dc and moreso Hollywood USA .for it was of key importance that the Symbiotic Cues were presented by key players in the industry (in code,non coded,in plain .sight or otherwise)in tandem with the SYNTHESIZED BEGINNINGS program.the indicator/cue could sometimes be as simply as an art director placing a light green bed spread in a Key spot on a sight specific TV program.sometimes it was just a film's title.sometimes an entire storyline or sometimes a phrase(know what i mean jellybean?)that would instigate a significant cerebral response in children raised Rainy that cemented their faith in the New Way,much like a visual of a mother making cookies could bring a rush emotion to a non rainy child.a Green Kite introduced 5 seconds after a thunder clap could bring a rainy child to momentary joy.

{Rainy wrote several short stories for Rainy Day Magazine ,an adventure sci fi magazine for boys)based on his access to "secret technologies"he implied that certain technological advancements were kept under wraps and released in small measure to the world at large especially the televised image,primarily how TV was primarily developed as a weapon not entertainment.he says that it was about this time that he came under fire from "the powers that be"and for a time moved to Mexico privately said he thought "the powers that be" we envious that he and his clan had "beaten them to the punch by quite literally hard wiring humans to respond in sych with codified television and the creation of Key Popular Culture events in advance to trigger all sorts of economic and societal shifts"
is there any other way?"he bragged always with a phone in his hand to the script writers at the fledgling Alliance Pictures .
the child's interactions with these gentle vibrations were enough to move
the Rainy Children into a pre school environment.all but a few high functioning enough to sit thru class
in his notes he concluded that by 2007 the technological advancements would be such
the addition of an "imaginary friend"would be added during the child's 4th year
a composite of Gary Rainy himself. as troubadour,playmate and confessor

Thursday, July 31, 2014

avatar is people

Äre you alright Cole?"Vanessa asked, staring at the books littering the coffee table .Books about
 aliens,witch craft,and secret societies
 books with silly psychedelic covers and triangles with eyes in them
Cole had grown a full beard and had begun drinking in the morning
eating garbage trolling the net for abductees and victims of mind control
the next day it would be another theory, he'd talk about antennas and transmissions, next it would be thoughts of possession and questions about faith.He even asked her if he should become a Catholic

all sorts of explanations for what he whisperingly referred to as "the ear thing"
and 'the eye thing"

she had spoken to his shrink who seemed crazier than Cole was,Cole's psychiatrist explained.
that
there were all sorts of tests being performed
and
Cole simply fit a demographic

it's about procuring a library of Thought Styles
so
"the New Way" could standardize
A.I. and Immersive technology

Cole ,the Dr. explained should be
excited to be part of "it"





"so Cole is a Guinea Pig? For whom?" she asked

"I didn't say I was sure " the shrink said....his eyes darting
his excitement now replaced by
what looked to Vanessa an awful lot  more like fear than anything one
might be 'excited to be part of"

 " don't call it being a Guinea Pig.
he's been selected for some reason....
targeted....some in his position call themselves Targeted Individuals
but that
all but declares victimhood.....and we need Cole to feel empowered don't we?"the doctor said
 it's been happening alot,alot more than you might think""he said softly  looking around the room as if they were in some spy movie,""it doesn't make sense that a schizophrenic would remember hallucinations in this way, nor that Sound and Vision come together

:...The patient. I mean Cole's recollections are story based,a true schizophrenics are not. a schizophrenic's affect is disorganized.
Cole is focused
and astute
something of an extrovert

...." last year I  saw a client  I also suspected was being mentored
Very state of the art. in fact
the way this client described
the Brain Link
the Co Conscious
was exhilarating.....

  The Dr. informed Vanessa that there have been a rash of "the ear thing" and 'the seeing thing' all over California and Oregon
The Dr mentioned that
Gang Stalking techniques are utilized to keep the "participant" quiet..

" chipping someone's nervous system is still in 'the grey area" of legality..."The Dr said..

"the Grey area?" Vanessa said

New Things  need a new Way ,the Dr. said
throughout history
"things" have been "driven round the block" by the civilian population.""Things"" it's really not a good idea to speak about....

'can you help him?"Vanessa asked

"His mentors will help him....
the New Way does not believe in Psychiatry...,"the Dr said

'what does this "new Way" believe in?" Vanessa asked, annoyed at the Drs."withholds"

"Oh ..they believe in many
things I don't understand,' the Dr said smiling than placing his finger to his lips...his other finger pointing to the phone

Vanessa got up to leave..Clearly.
this man was unwell himself
The dr.
stood and said
"A colleage of mine who treated several such patients was murdered. last year,in his home.I really don't feel comfortable treating Cole at this time"

"have you told Cole?About any of this?"Vanessa asked.

ÿou don't seem to understand",if I tell Cole I am telling Them"

you don't "mess with THEM"....

.Your ex boyfriend is esentially a rape victim.
mind rape..
but also a tape recorder.
and a Tv set...like I said...it's in the grey area...
of legality
it's Advanced Technology...
It's sometimes referred to as synthetic telepathy.Brain waves are read from..."

"Jesus Christ Dr. are  you telling me Cole has computer chips in his brain ,"she said grabbing her coat getting ready to leave,she had heard that most psychiatrists are crazier than their patients and was now assured this was so

"there's no need for computer chips.That's whats frightening ...
but it helps to have bio sensors..for the Immersive Reality stuff.
otherwise there is so much beaming and waves being tossed about that
in no time
one's mind becomes. Irradiated

nano
  .. no larger than a dendrite...truly a marvel of our time"

"good bye Dr"" she said."i think I am going to call some agencies..
if what you say is true
they might be able to help Cole get this stuff out of his system"

"oh dear..I wouldn't do that...  " the Dr said.."why they might just do the same to you poor girl..it's best Cole just believe
he's nuts or that the entire situation
is supernatural....

"He does ," Vanessa said


                                                                                  (2)






She drove from the office to her apartment
and began doing what Cole had been doing trolling the interent for answers.All she needed was 9 day old beard,a bathrobe and some books about demons and she'd BE Cole.

 what she found was interesting.And terrifying ,if it were true THEY were doing tests






earlier that week Cole had called her in the middle of the night explaining that he was being called upon by angels.And she had snapped at him.She felt bad about then ,worse about it now,she dialed his number and suprisingly he picked it up on it's first ring


'I'm in love he said"sounding happier than she had ever remembered him being
he explained to Nessa that he was communicating with his true companion through all time
that it happened to be a guy didnt matter,love was love
he had never felt this way before
their nervous systems "spoke"to each other

""Where did you meet?"she asked

"You wouldn't understand.We didnt actually meet""

"it's The ear thing right.the "possession"" thing"

"You wouldnt understand"

"actually Cole I think I might""

"how?'

############################################3######################################3

.Although he was right handed he had begun using his left hand more and more,he had to buy a pair of left handed scissors

if you have something to say say it my face Cole yelled
at the "voices"

it will spoil it.there's a suspension of disbelief factor at play here Evan Graphed.

can I meet you?in real life?

"whats so great about "real life" Cole?what have you done with real life.What's the world done with real life?"



having listened to what Nessa said
(call her Vanessa,actually don't call her at all Evan said)he couldn't get it out of his mind that this sense this interaction was some technological mind fuck.It took the dimension of his initial "spiritual connection" away.But than again this Evan wasn't always the "love interest" Cole made him out to be.
In fact Evan had kept him awake last night telling him to throw away all his money.

"there's a reason for everything,"Evan said

it wasn't always sound ,it was more like the pulsing.pitch.Like the white noise a giant pulsating fan made.
it was also changes.
to his mood and perceptions.
as if someone had removed the top of his skull and was playing various parts of his brain like a piano.
he wished the key was in only the pleasure centers of his mind
but it was a complicated piece Evan was playing
sometimes he felt like crying for no reason.
It was times like that when he felt like calling Dr.Ling and asking for an appointment or pills.
and all thoughts of being connected to Evan went away
he also had the feeling it wasnt always just Evan
in control
the feeling was different.
sometimes he felt like he was simply connected to his own mind.
or to a computer.
bits of him felt as if they were being taken in .and out and reconnected
every matter of thought was presented to him.various styles.
he could have sworn once that a woman had entered his consciousness
he had seen the movie avatar.where other people had the ability to ....

:stop it " Evan said,"to over analyze this is to destroy it"
"than destroy it"
"i can destroy you in about 7 minutes.drive you out of your mind ,perhaps for good.would you like that Cole?:
"no"he graphed.
that's not how it's done.we're not having a conversation.Do you understand?
"what do you want?"
that's not how it's done that's not how it's done ..than the odd not quite sound of a fan .of white noise.he instantly forgot about the entire situation,except that "it" could drive him mad in 7 minutes,he got on with his own dismal thoughts,that he had to clean up the living room,shave..always aware however that someone or something was reading him
"to over analyze it is to destroy it"
fuck you he thought.not at "it"
"we can't do that either"
He found himself shouting at the ceiling"shut up shut up shut up"
"now you sound like a mad man,which reminds me .you must find another psychiatrist and tell him you hear voices.we need it documented"
who needs it documented.who the fuck was he talking to,thinking to.
"stop it stop stop it "sounded something like a high pitched voice.not Evan but more electronic.augmented.followed by another lower pitched "vibration"that seemed to somehow calm his mind down
'go to a mental hospital go to a mental hospital" an even deeper pitch roared.
he stuck his hands to his ears ,rocking back and forth.
he wasn't in control of the "entity" he couldn't make it stop.,
he couldn't shut it off.
he pictured the rest of his life in a mad house.
He forced himself to stop rocking and go to the bathroom to shave.
He saw his face in the mirror drawn tight from the stress.
calm down calm down calm down he hummed to himself,dropping the razor.for one moment wanting to ..
he slashed water on his face.
the sound ,the pace,was slower.he found it soothing .as if his mind had begun responding to another frequency.a calming one
and suddenly he felt  as buoyant




"it's new Cole,"He heard the voice say,"we have to test this mother fucker for all it's worth,isn't that the way love is?"Isn't that the way it is with all new relationships.Especially when you're the bitch,Cole felt a sexual  sensationrun  through his body that was like...

"don't come yet bossman,we gotta get you to a mental hospital"

"why.I'm not crazy"



"dude,you be crazy.or you be dead"



############################################4###############################


1975



my mom and step dad used to go out to these parties..my mom was very good looking,...people dropped things for no reason when she was walked by..
.there were around 7 of us strag alongs .
we hung around in the lobbies of fancy apartments
.we all got to know each other.most of the parents were divorced .it was visiting day.weekends .every other weekend.





"my name is Veda,"the girl in the lobby said.I had seen her around other lobbies.she often wore a crown on her head or something shiney in her hair.I had seen her and her brother sit for 3 hours ,very still ,not saying a word
she was 7 if she was a day,"this is my brother Kit,He doesnt speak.He is magical.
we can communicate without words.some people can,it runs in families,I want you to run upstairs and get us cookies and soda,"
I told her we weren't allowed upstairs.And Kit began having a fit,
"see what you did?"she said,"now quick ,quick run upstairs and get us cookies and soda before something happens"












2011









"I'd like you to meet Evan" Veda said, offering me a drink,"and Kit,Remember Kit,he talks now .But sometimes he prefers the Old Way of speaking.Not the New Way "

"I was sort of expected to see you wearing a crown"I said sipping my wine,tasting something cinnamon and salty

"I am,and now ,so are you"she said,taking away my glass.



" Oh you don't know..it's very hush hush but everybody knows..Oh please tell me you don't know...well I can't say ,it's a thing they've been working on since the late 80's...tv darhling what do you think
I'm talking about ..the silicon valley BEFORE their was a silicon valley and every studio from here to France had a piece in it..now everyone says what what..we did what what," Megan says into the phone,more into the phone than to Barbara,a 5th choice friend for phone chats,"yes interneural interface,I won't explain it again", "
". Brad says I shouldnt talk about it but he talks of nothing else,I swear he keeps a monitor near our bed,he tracks this guy's every moveHe doesnt call him by name just Demon,"Mega says eating pieces of a fruitrollup Ash left near the sink,. ".I try to read it but you have to use a special headset and you have to be able to decipher things,and Brad said it could be dangerous getting into a mind like that,supposedly he has inroads or something with ..I don't know..forces or something?Adam.adam Parker ,the actor yes the adam parker uses the headset too..why?
"why because according to parker  Demon is like the demon himself  after all He is called Demon ,.sick sick sick and we're not talkin s-i-c- we're talking s-i-c-K with a big K...from what i hear."
" They assumed demon was dead,everyone was so damned paranoid back than remember how everyone acted at Shelly's bat Mitzvah ?1994.June,you remember,it was like a funeral,poor Shelly...Well this guy who they thought I dont know died or something like comes back.to LA' ..they supposedly never tried it again",Megan says "what do you mean never tried what again.Interneural interface,it's illegal"My god I'd have been better off talking to the maid Megan thought,reaching into the pantry for another fruit roll up.".. I assume half the actors working today use interneural interface.half of these people can't even read. but this guy, this demon, was like a test version and they drove him god damn nuts,he took all this speed and started like seeing shit or something with Parson Nilson of all people at the helm.Parson Nilson "she shouts into the phone hoping brenda can sense her eye roll,"he used to be in herman's hermits or something..anyway they just wanted to cover it up..they picked the wrong guy.who knew he was a speed freak. or a demon or whatever he is.
well demon it seems is writing a screenplay or something.but he doesnt know it was just some..acting device so people wouldnt need scripts or sight lines  or something.
"well brenda I assume it was for acting ,what else would it be for?"any  of course Demon  assumes it's like angels or devils and shit..well Harry took a picture of demon, drinking lemonaide at a starbucks.whats he look like not much i can tell you that much i was expecting horns or something the way they talk but lemonaide?at starbucks?..."

she puts the first page of nots for the treatment down

"Is that a better way to write it?notice no dactology no "otherment" affairs no nothing .Just Hollywood.and we both know there is no sinister side to hollywood"I smile,but the smile is tight  tardive dyskinesia,from the drugs,I was in four point restraint.another opening another show.
this was the 3rd hospital i've been in since my return to LA,
Macy Enty besides being an executive producer was also a dactologist,she had made the trip all the way up to olive View to see me"you know Macy,it's dem voices,dem voices just won't leave me alone"

"thats quite a pitch" Macy Enty
"do you think it rings true.or could with further rewrites?"I asked sarcastically,I wanted to ask the nurse to untie at least one of my limbs.But she tells the nurse to leave.Please
"the dramatic structure needs work,it is all over the place.
" this supposed schizophrenia has it's drawbacks i'm afraid .
i have a bit of a jump cut mind these days as you well know"
,i had sent several copies of Small life Video and wallhangings to Fox,Paramount and New line studios
"there's a plot in there somewhere," I say,"you just have to look for it"

"small life video and wallhangings,"she scoffed".Let me tell you just how small that life of yours can get"
"oh it is quite small enough thank you,"
"you just can't stop can you.it's not something you should be proud of.You're the one fucking it up.Not us,passive agressive,infantile,full of ENROT,you'd better watch your step
and perhapos those aural hallucinations of yours are something a bit higher than this nonsense pseudo science interneural whatever"
"yes,I do believe that is what you want me to believe/Your M.O,false what are they called Brackus?
she rubs my forehead,with ?tenderness,but i feel a laquered nail too"we're concerned is all,there is something in you that isnt quite right.and Adam knows things"
"you told me to write that shit!

(.you see i had been set up early on to be the KEY CREEP in the story a modern representation of everything that that Proxy wanted to get rid of.it was why i had gotten these notebooks to type up and puruse to find a consistant tone,why I was brought to LA,why my art was being shown..oh did it get lost .in this multitude of furnished pseudo madness.that every word contained in this blog and small life video and wallhangings as well as my previous facilitated outings running amuck in LA and previously philadelphia,key west and Miami were to create a biography of such degeneracy...an example ..)

(the point that i was dragging poor kim into the story again..that was all..it was discussed at intial meeting at the housecleaning division of proxy corp how i would somehow weave my family into what was to become a jumble of schizophrenic,antisocial conspiract theory horseshit,I was paid 17 dollars an hour to participate in this nonsense,a hefty sum,but the thought of going on now that I saw justy how far they wanted me to take the tumble was going,not to mention the ramifications of those who followed the blog being recorded as..perishables..there was a side story ,where I began writing Liam as not only the good guy but in a heroic mode that practically shut the system,their system down..never mind when i began writing truly realistically of my family unit..but I must continue on,for if it not me as example as Degenrate Sicko of the raving kind to be a beacon to the troubled Minds in real time,than it will be another sucker who needs some cash for a project they didnt understand the implications of,..but I preceed ,although not quite with a gun pointed to my head ,don't kid yourself..)

(is it presumed that i enjoy writing this horseshit ,this idiotic hobbled babble in predetermined bad grammar,runon sentences,and endless CAPS?as it is presumed that when A Pre Designed Incident occurs (in which I am of course the "criminal".)I will take it Like a "Perishable....a perishable who knows he deserves what he gets.?.there was a scenario early on wherein a well recognized actor pummels me i shit thee not,but I had a difficult time keeping the bizarre key points quite serious enough especially last summer ..the drugs i was given to induce such meanderings somehow faulty.and my heart wasnt in it.but 17 dollars and hour is 17 dollars an hour and i had made a

'we told you to?who told you to?you're delusional?dactology wants nothing to do with any of this.if someone told you to write anti dactile shit I sure would like to know who it was.
"it was you,it was evan and linda N"
"hmmm .maybe,maybe it was the other team."
what other team,"anyway Adam and Evan are concerned
"Adam he's a fucking actor .what does he know"
"he knows what he knows.look at you.,running crazy in the streets of OUR town,serves you right"
"and just why dear was i running crazy in the streets"
"proxy is a tool.those that fear the tool.."
"have you ever been proxed"
"has adam?"
"it's lucky that you have jimbis,it's lucky that we know what we have here.."
"it's my mind I can think whatever i god damn want to."
"you really think this is about acting lessons or virtual reality or a new television.you fucking idiot?it's about a new world,a new way of interacting,it 's political"
"it's a horror show is what it is"
"it's a tool,you are using it wrong,you fear the tool and don't hear the instructions
"oh sister i hear the instructions all right"
"did the instructions tell you to write about it all over the internet "
"yes,is what i'm saying..That 's why i fucking came here.Evan and adam told me to write every key point in the notebooks."
"wha
" a cry for help sister"
"did we help jimbis.I sure hope we arrived in time"
"the things you can do with time with a bit of love potion number nine"
"youre an idiot"

hmmmm...things were getting close.
like
coming together...
the bits and pieces...
dude raised a certain way..
than drugged and shit..
than these certain ways(symbols) are played out.

"there's a plot in there somewhere," I say,"you just have to look for it"

i asked myself what would jesus do in 2012.not if he was 33 but 43 and somehow jumped off the cross.and was called a ego maniac loon or something by his so called friends.especially the scum who crossed him.i mean it was a leap from 33 to 43.things change drastically,those ten years.i swear if you gave him even ten more months even without the cross bizness i think the dude would have went somewhere and written his story himself .just to sell it.just to make some dough especially if he was so into this giving bizness.i sure am not saying i'm no jesus but man have i been put through the ringer.by these people playing god.

 she says"there is a plot in here somewhere"
"OH yes there is a PLOT indeed!" i cried.But i saw the large male nurse begin rising from his chair." a cohesive story line I mean to say ..several in fact"
"for legal reason"she said" we might have to lose the dactology part,'
"Yes .we must lose dactology at any cost!
jesus christ mr bloom you just cant let it go evan chimed.and hear i thought we might have a way out of this fucking blog.
i began shaking,Brenda asked if i was ok.the male nurse i saw from below.he was wearing a dactology pin
"yes.perhaps we can just make dactology ..some other .uh...group..maybe...the"
Brenda spoke,"let's just make them aliens,or maybe the army."
"NO oooooo...lets just keep any group out of it..maybe we can make them dinosaurs,it might be safer."

i can tell you one fucking thing whomever is pulling the strings around here sure as shit has alot more money power and everything than i do,space aliens,etc
was this some morality test.?
where the hell was i supposed to pull this morality out of.?huh
if god came to me,the real thing not this shit he'd be like.well.he'd listen for one
i mean he might not comiserate.
but i dont think he'd keep twisting me around
he'd be like dude you really cant think str8 it might take me like 15 years to see where this bullshit came from and how to undo it
.he wouldnt go all horror show etc..i mean think of it when like adam first heard god booming he must have been like oh no oh no oh no
than if god was like reading his mind which i presume he could.what would adam do
what if his thoughts were adhd or unpleasant etc.
was he supposed to be like ok god.(stop) I will mend my ways (stop)or would his mind be like fuck fuck fuck i'm freezing and this eve needs food ..or oh fuck evee im not even into her ,than god might be real pissed and he'd be like sorry sorry sorry.but imagine if he wasnt sorry and god knew it than hed have to spend like all this energy somehow running away from his true thought and still be hungry and still have to interneural with god who he knew could like turn him into dust

i asked myself what would jesus do in 2012.not if he was 33 but 43 and somehow jumped off the cross.and was called a ego maniac loon or something by his so called friends.especially the scum who crossed him.i mean it was a leap from 33 to 43.things change drastically,those ten years.i swear if you gave him even ten more months even without the cross bizness i think the dude would have went somewhere and written his story himself .just to sell it.just to make some dough especially if he was so into this giving bizness.i sure am not saying i'm no jesus but man have i been put through the ringer.by these people playing god.
I considered her analysis.I had read in screenwriting books to all but curtsie to studio types.
"schizophrenia has it's drawbacks i'm afraid .it is not very linear.."
i have a bit of a jump cut mind."
"so I have noticed "she said"but there is something to this..I must say"
,i had sent several copies of Small life Video and wallhangings to Fox,Paramount and New line studios
only Fox had gotten back to me as well as a fledgling independent tv studio in India.it wasnt exactly a bidding war but I was impressed that brenda had made the trip to Pennsylvania
"it's a treatment,very "tree of Life "if you read it correctly ,There is a section actually, about dinosaurs but I didnt want to "overpost"
i wasnt supposed to post at all.at first it was me just thinking it was a muse or something .when i was still in sherman oaks,but than it got all poltergeistish.bossing me around.getting veryserious,bringing in this entire damien lewis subplot that was beyond belief.
i can tell you one fucking thing whomever is pulling the strings around here  sure as shit has alot more money power and everything than i do,space aliens,etc
was this some morality test.?
where the hell was i supposed to pull this morality out of.?huh
if god came to me,the real thing not this shit he'd be like.well.he'd listen for one
i mean he might not comiserate.
but i dont think he'd keep twisting me around
he'd be like dude you really cant think str8 it might take me like 15 years to see where this bullshit came from and how to undo it
.he wouldnt go all horror show etc..i mean think of it when like adam first heard god booming he must have been like oh no oh no oh no
than if god was like reading his mind which i presume he could.what would adam do
what if his thoughts were adhd or unpleasant etc.
was he supposed to be like ok god.(stop) I will mend my ways (stop)or would his mind be like fuck fuck fuck i'm freezing and this eve needs food ..or oh fuck evee im not even into her ,than god might be real pissed and he'd be like sorry sorry sorry.but imagine if he wasnt sorry and god knew it than hed have to spend like all this energy somehow running away from his true thought and still be hungry and still have to interneural with god who he knew could like turn him into dust
"there is a plot in here somewhere"
"OH yes there is a PLOT indeed!" i cried.But i saw the large male nurse begin rising from his chair." a cohesive story line I mean to say ..several in fact"
"for legal reason"she said" we might have to lose the dactology part,'
"Yes .we must lose dactology at any cost!
jesus christ mr bloom you just cant let it go evan chimed.and hear i thought we might have a way out of this fucking blog.
i began shaking,Brenda asked if i was ok.the male nurse i saw from below.he was wearing a dactology pin
"yes.perhaps we can just make dactology ..some other .uh...group..maybe...the"
Brenda spoke,"let's just make them aliens,or maybe the army."
"NO oooooo...lets just keep any group out of it..maybe we can make them dinosaurs,it might be safer."

"not really kiddo "she said signalling the nurse,who reached for a hypo,"I think most of your problems truly began when you refered to Bernie as a dinosaur"
I had not thought of Bernie for sometime.I had never reread small life video and wallhangings.
the Muralist was having a fine time indeed.
i woke up sweating.but happy i wasnt in restrainsts .but i knew more and more i always would be


hmmmm...things were getting close.
like
coming together...
the bits and pieces...
dude raised a certain way..
than drugged and shit..
than these certain ways(symbols) are played out.

 all fictionhmmmmmm
.ah thank god he was schizophrenic
imagine .that this was all true,
proxy.or what proxy symbolizes.
thing is.
would it matter to this dude that they did it to.
it wasnt his experiment.
if they wanted him hushed theyd give him money.or a house or something they like owe this guy big time.they like stole his life...

fuck you .
i can tell you one fucking thing whomever is pulling the strings around here and in 94 sure as shit has alot more money power and everything than i do,space aliens,etc
was this some morality test.?
where the hell was i supposed to pull this morality out of.?huh
if god came to me,the real thing not this shit he'd be like.well.he'd listen for one
i mena he mioght not comiserate.
but i dont think he;d keep twisting me around
he'd be like dude you really cant think str8 it might take me like 15 years to see where this bullshit came from and how to undo it.he wouldnt go all horror show etc..i meaN  think of it when like adam first heard god booming he must have been like oh no oh no oh no
than if god was like reading his mind which i presume he could.what would adam do
what if his thoughts were adhd or unpleasant etc.
was he supposed to be like ok god.(stop) I will mend my ways (stop)or would his mind be like fuck fuck fuck i'm freezing and this eve needs food ..or oh fuck evee im not even into her ,than god might be real pissed and he'd be like sorry sorry sorry.but imagine if he wasnt sorry and god knew it than hed have to spend like all this energy somehow running away from his true thought and still be hungry and still have to interneural with god who he knew could like turn him into dust.what did this dude have to go on?
truely
some wackos who would suggest things to him?
voices in his head?
the fact that he was back where he started you see
besides being absurd.
cuz WHY was HE EVER here.
than he remembers why the hell did any of this happen?
really
just how much control of any of this did this guy have
than he knows he's insane
just blaming
nobody woulda made up so tedius a scenario
i mean this aint exactly the truman show
but than i remember that the truman show was boring.
or boring for jim cary
but it waSNT LIKE CREEPY BORING
i lead a life of creeping and creepy boring
it has made me creepy i think
there arent many creeps out and about like the ones you'd see in movies of the 50's and 60s
like those crazy eyed spooky,types that dont seem to haver much control of a jumpy leg or jumpy jump demeanor.
I have that look. though
and it isnt retro.
it's creepy/and dont say i give myself too much credit
i also see and hear shit
i have this one down man.i cant see other people emulating it like this move to wear sandals
in fact this dude was so shafted from this bullshit that he despised it's assemblers.CEOs or whatever(armynavymarineetcwho gave ashit) to a degree unimagininable if he were to go further and further into it.and he needed to cuz this dude yousee was so stupifying physically and mentally fucked by his 43rd year that said dude had nothing but the story
schizophrenia his ass.and if it wasnt
what in fuck's name was it
space aliens
the illuminati.
what the fuck was the illuminati anyway.Reptile people.he had looked it up online and still had no idea.
also he had looked up so many different things.from the star wars space program(possibly the funds shifted to begin ..some type of..)
oh jesus
he had never read a sci fi book in his life.even the hobbit got thrown across the room
was the hobbit sci fi or fantasy
what i needed was a boyfriend screenwriter with some type of organic head trauma.someone who would be easy to eat with
something like that but definitely a screenwriter type who said shut up i'm thinking alot.
we would go head first into this project.
we would probably break up early but be so commited to the finished project that we would remain in the same town
and we would also begin working out together.not to be buff.but because it helped oygen flow to our heads
because we would both need to be sober
me more than him cause proxy tells me

Sunday, February 2, 2014

they say
though who can believe them
that i should go through old yearbooks.and find someone
who might "take" to being "apped"
with Mind Read /Mind Impart nano particles.
i try to keep my mind closed...not wishing THIS on another
although the visual enhancement are quite awesome..they also .lately have shown me how they can use them ..in quite a
"this ain';t no novelty Dumbo"way
the question
is not induced as words
but thought
'who you know from highschool" that might "get off" on being tagged?
who might
"roll with it and keep their mouth shut about it..?
well nobody would keep their mouth shut about it...
i mean they "impart" to you enough times the threats of "old fashioned" hands on torture techniques..did someone actually say "flaying/'
yessum they did..
i try to buffer my mind
not think of
"game" or would be "game pieces" from high school
but I am incepted an image of a LONG SHOT of my alm mater
I attempt to disappear into a TIGHT SHOT of frosted flakes.
and next focus my thoughts on the wood grain of the table
but I can tell a name has been lifted
and i know just who will be "tagged"
for sport.research
and development


Friday, October 25, 2013

re-edt.

feed me and buy me things.
for some reason i want to exist.
why
i dont know
to buy more things?
i am crazy... i am bad.unfortunately even the bad need food and shelter and there is never enuf
the very bad need and need
 they need

cuz they get nothing immaterial and spiritual like  what SOLVABLES get
for some reason i want to exist
why
i don't know.
One who was a Ruiner but was saved with Brain Computer Mentorship is on the stage
the RESOLVABLE finishes her poem and leaves stage right-.the lights dim.a spot comes up on Macy, linda and Evan.I am upstage  when a Blue Bean hits me .I put my hand up to block it.Macy copies my movement  and suddenly the light dims


"UNSOLVABLES love the dark they hate the day ",Macy says
I am sitting
on a stage
behind me is a huge screen
various pages of things i have written and drawn are projected on it

there is another screen which has my other thoughts
my interneural thoughts. What I am thinking in Real Time .Right Now on the stage..
sometimes the 2 are shown at once


.I was smiling,I was in my suit,the suit I got that i wore alot since my Reduction.that has helped me  think
in a reduced manner 
 smaller portions.

"He,"Evan Rainy says to the audience <"was asked NOT to write  BUT HE kept writing and writing...."
(he kept writng,he kept going,I hear her say
I Have been dimmed for the presentation

"when do i get a snack"
i hear the audience laughing
i laugh too.
i look at macy who points to the screen
when do i get a snack  it says in big letters

"Snacks.so he wants snacks,"Macy ,one of my Mentors says shrugging smiling".nothing wrong with snacks,,"she pauses and becomes serious..ok so the old brown mare  she ain't what she used to be ,'she comes up behind me and puts her hands on me "  Nothing wrong with snacks and smiles ....in a year or so he will moved to a better apartment and might be able to care for a pet"

Paintings and drawings and things i wrote are projected behind me
Evan takes the stage.
"i monitored much of who we will refer only as "Dumbos: PROCESS
"Usually Internals transcripts are kept utterly private ,don't you worry" Evan  said"All you future consumers of our brand of Brain Link...,this is a one time deal,"he laughs and the audience laughs back
Dumbo gave us permission...he signed a waiver..be "app-ed' with Merge bio tech of serve time for intent to distribute illegal substances..
I am smiling,I turn around to see if my thoughts are on the screen
i dont know if i gave anyone permission,but there is nothing on the screen but angry paintings and words and words
 Believe me i know all too well how  UNSOLVABLES think,"he laughs,putting a hankerchief to his forehead.I know how they eat ,sleep and ruminate
Evan  comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders and shouts to the audience",My father,
Gary Rainy believed that one man's bad thoughts wipes away the actions and thoughts of 100,000 good men and believed they should be removed from existance.he believed that even after their death that their Emanations  would still stream through the Enway..the "Enway" is what Neuronautic's call the Neural Highway
,the electromagnetic spectrum...
People's thoughts Emanate electromagnetism..2 hz.when they sleep..
4 hz when they wake.
11Hz or so when the Hate ..


"know why you rememebr only bad things Dumbo! "he screamed
"because you made all the bad things happen!.Because you are bad and people and the plants and the Earth's electromagnetism - responded in kind  to your badness!because your EMINATIONS  were and are  SO Intense and So AGAINST  The ENWAY! that every LITTLE element and Molecule reacted to your EMINATIONS ...so powerful was your sickness of spirit that it was contagious...WHY does an ARTIST paint such UGLY DEPRAVITY if not to attempt to corrupt another's senses...like their own.. "
Macy saw I was scared and held up a cookie
seeing this Evan stopped yelling and came up behind me.smiling
"we went through alot ,didnt we Dumbo....before ...we realized that there was no hope ..except Psychotronic Reduction Surgery


pictures of my destroyed apartment flickered on the screen
and next a broken window


Evan's Interneural "stories" made me get very mad sometimes


there was a sound from the audience
I turned around and saw the screen filled with what i had just thought
evan's interneural stories made me get very mad sometimes

a projectorist or something quickly overlaid it with a "horrible" painting i had done of a crowd at a bus stop"
I felt a tiny twitch through the back of my head and knew that i had better just think of cookies
but Macy mouthed "they turned it off," she said circling her head with her finger,she smiled.







***********************************************************************


Thursday, October 24, 2013







  • necessary for the Proxeteer to be told something despicable about "the reason"
a subject was chosen for the program


  • a crime
  • preferably sexual in nature, should be introduced.at first casually. It is unfortunate that some Mentors moral compass however veers more toward crimes such as theft,or betrayal..in which case.one might lead the subject into such hot spots of ambiguity. Much more difficult than sexual misappropriations
  • it is relatively easy to overload
a Proxy's subconscious "loop" toward such correlations
  • (especially in the first 8 weeks of intrusion ,so that memories of childhood.and sexuality may seem to concur in such a way that a future Mentor may  be introduced to the subject in such a way that subject is implied and implicated as a sexual predator.

  • one has a rather wide berth to introduce such themes.
  • especially if one is prudent in seeking specific identifiers.
  • (which can often can be done if one focuses on visual correlations during "quiet reads" during television)








  • ....used to provide the Mentor enough wherewithal and emotion fortitude to begin the initial "dent"

  • and subsequent psychotic break for participants who were randomly chosen,who did not sign waivers.)
  • ------------------------
  • the volunteers.
  • 120 days max
  • with pay
  • the most important part of establishing Intraneural with the unknowing participants
  • would be to immediately establish an incongruous
  • correspondence
  • which would also guarantee ..... the right to experiment on human subjects would be to provide ample evidence of required monitoring over riding the 120 day ....
  • as the subjects not signing waivers were "in the grey zone"of the law.....
  • concerning psychological non lethal....fair play
  • important early on
  • to make the subject.... either incapacitated and institutionalized
  • as the very nature of future conditioning for type b. testing would and should be mind "without limits"
  • and in such regard these tests under guidelines and for the public's safety be "played out" in facilities
  • such as jails or hospitals

I went back to some of gary rainy's True Sci-Fi Guides for young boys
he predicted "the dots" in 1965

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

little triggers


The control tones recorded on the film's optical or magnetic track triggered one of   Two tones of 25 Hz or 35 Hz  that bypassed the "enhanced" tv viewers temporal lobe...the silent frequencies were a form of "low -fi remote neural monitoring .
.possible now
 for the " control group" who  had drank the potable nano particles and bio sensors
 placed in select batches  of Compo Cola 


Parasol Pictures a subsidiary of Compo had co- sponsored the trial run of Associative /Referential TV Response
that called for a" mild" Brain Computer Interface 
BCI was the latest thing
but for all intensive purposes did not exist at all
Valerie Prentis asked for the utmost discretion for the "experience"
as she feared Intraneural TV
would be perceived by the public ," as too Invasive..or something or other"
she spoke privately and scornfully of  Luddite thinking toward advanced Technologies," especially amongst those "Jewie" types  who could not or would not '"get over  their "thang" that someone or something was always "up to something"
Valerie spoke about "hippies and those PBS types  against Evolutionary Progressiveness...ruining just RUINING everything For Everybody....
But the project went forward nonetheless thanks in part  to a generous grant from both the beverage company and The Gary P. Rainy TruGenics Corperation for Human Betterment...

the TVs were of a generic brand 
bought mainly in the neighborhoods who drank Compo cola to begin with...
a small manipulation of pulse code through the cables in and around the 30 block radius 
altered the Tvs suitably to be essentially mirrors of both the Moods and Modes of the persons viewing the sets
 these two tones  responded "in kind" to the viewer's facial Reactives and the bio sensors that had survived the ardent trip past the consumer/tester's blood brain barrier.., the main soundtrack could be increased in  8 decibel increments to create a more Immersive Response to the programming  Some viewers and consumers brought even more to the market study as their Compo Cola contained not only bio sensors for survey but nano particles that could convey a  virtual 5 sense dendrite /synapse over ride
 
 
It was selective television
that read the pupils
and neural reactions to one of 57 thought styles programmed into
the New Direct intraneural Program
being introduced by Parasol Pictures
discretely
as the feedback was
mainly for marketing and or
spotting
anyone who reacted to various associations and cues
in a manner too far off
 the
Gary Rainy Neuronautic Scale of Normalcy