Monday, December 24, 2012

all night Cole worked witha ruler.
Than without a ruler.
Than with a circle.
Than without a circle
To form the perfect
or less than perfect
Black Triangle.
A symbol Linda N
tolm him
could be applied to rust proof high gloss pins.
at 20 cents on the dollar Linda saw the Black Triangles as a mini gold mine
and a way to peruse
just who might purchase a pin such as this
that represented "crazy"
just as the Pink Trinagle "optioned" by "the gays"
made a small mint for ***
Linda figured if Cole could sell 30,000 Black Triangle pins ot $4.50
next would come coffee mugs
T-shirts
..
perhaps a sportswear line...
although Linda  wonder if "so -called crazy people" exercised

Sunday, December 23, 2012


he snapped his fingers at a waiter and rolled his eyes
.
"man i haven't gone to the gym for 2 days,"he said
touching his fore arm.
"I just get so depressed when I don't work out."he said,than louder smiling and looking around again"At the gym"
i met Grant because he was pretty sure a friend of his was Domed.this friend who had ended up in a mental hospital because of it.
it was just odd,this guy talking about the unbelievableness of bad waiter service,his friend who was Domed and intraneural interface all with the exact same amount of concern.
I asked him a bit about his friend
he took me through the usual ....zombieway 2 ways shit.and every hypothesis on line and in crazy speak
than got to the heart on the matter...so and so was found in a coffee house crying or....complaining of some kind of turmoil"
he circled his finger around his ear.
..and finally they subdued him in a  mental hospital...
"he's not supposed to speak to me anymore.

I pulled my chair away from the table
"sorry I must go"I said "if your friend doesnt wish to speak to you neither do I."

I left a book of Enways on the table.


 
 

Thursday, December 20, 2012

i .
didnt trust here after all
she was the one
who.......******
but one never knwos.

i spent the day reading the Wentworths.
2005,a great beach read.

why she would ask me to give it a go..after the"beauty" fiasco..is beyond me..

she wasn't with The New Way..she didn't have "the Look"
but..
it all seems
to go together..
..
a drumming feeling
or healing?
of who cares .
who cares is taking over my

...
convictions..

 
 
 



"see what you can do with it" she texted...some explanation with blah blah blah about how *** pulled out..and since  I seem to like writing so much...

..I think I can find you a nice place in North Hollywood..a sublet.."

 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

it didnt suprise Oliver Moriarity that Dome had tagged his son Peter.Oliver happened to be a software developer at Honeywel and was all too familiar with intra cerebral testing sweeps done in and around Hollywood and North Hollywood for "mules"It was just like Pete to be taken for a "non person" drifter.It sometimes seemed as if Pete went out of his way to look and assume the posture of street trash when in fact he lived in one of the better neighborhoods of Encino.So when Pete who had previously had a problem with drugs came home clasping his hands over his ears it talking of hearing voices it was all Oliver could do to refrain from saying,"I told you so"
Pete informed him that "all he had done" was smoke some crack that previous evening in a hotel with an older couple who "spoke weird"
Oliver asked him what speaking "weird" meant
"i can't explain it,"said a panicked Pete moving in frenzied circles around the living room .,"it was as if they were playing with me,suggesting things I don't know ,I don't know!It's not as if it's coming from my ears.it's fro somewhere inside"
"inside what?" Oliver asked,already coming to conclusions aside from the "all we had done was smoke crack"."do you think you can get through the night Pete?"Oliver asked .

the next morning Oliver asked some of the "security officers" "did we do a sweep and seed in North Hollywood last night?next asking if he could borrow a sensing wand to see if an RFD chip in his cat was still viable after a skin infection.At home that evening he did off rake of Pete's hairline and other places lice- like hot tips might settle in,not surprisingly the "chip" wand calibrated like a christmas tree.Mostly around Petes pate and mid skull.
The  illegality of human testing in his chosen field required some diplomacy.What some might consider abhorrent Oliver considered standard practice ,certainly nothing to make the fuss his wayward son was making about "a few little bugs"probably for some schematic integrated design department at one of the universities.Oliver took Pete ,still with hands over his ears ,which Oliver found odd as this type of spacing of nano was more indicative of voice to skull loops than traditional
comb embeds.Hmmm,he'd have to ask Pete about the pulse rhythms ,When Pete's hysterics passed.
Oliver placed a call to a private physician who was familiar with delicate matters.
It was all Oliver could do to not slap his half sobbing half screaming son during the long trip to Banning.
"see what happens when you lay down with fleas?Oliver said,"one sometimes gets bugs"
in less than twenty minutes the filaments were removed and "the voices' stopped.The removed micro placed neatly in a small plasticine bag
the next morning a smiling  Pete told his father he had called a lawyer to "find , destroy and restitute"
himself ."i may never have to work again"
Oliver reminded Pete he hadnt worked a day in his life and focused on the  paper.
"
Oliver imagined the dollar signs Pete saw in "this case"or the press,as if he would want to "get famous" being tagged like some street bum.
" I want those bugs.or whatever you call them"
"what bugs?"Oliver asked
"the bugs we drove all the way to banning to get taken out of me"
".It's not something one pursues.It's something one forgets.Besides .There's a very good chance that the entire situation was drug induced."
"you scanned me with a wand Dad...well,with or without I will get to the bottom of this,Or my lawyer will."
Oliver stood up and cracked the now folded paper on the kitchen table.
"Leave my house.Pack your bags.And go.Now.I will not have a crazy person in my house.I will not have a crazy person talking about bugs and chips in my house.
 
I read Cole's forms.

I paced my responses accordingly

I smiled in sympathetic understanding

and refilled his prescription

He is coming along

he is salling behind

he makes me sick

.................................................................................................................................but it is worth it

to make him well

or had better be


Evan is not pleased.

But there is hope..

and it was funny

watching him pin the black triangle on his coat

like I really meant it..

in a few years we will laugh about it.

if he makes it
 
that far





 

Cole >week 36


Keep it to yourself.

(I would have)

But not “in the future”

Where/when

It will not be possible

Will I discuss publicly

That as a child for instance

I compulsively

Masturbated

Rubbing up against this and that

Before I even knew

What I was doing

Or

What the term masturbation referred to

I guess I did it to simply feel “good”

Or to not feel bad.

?

 

There was a shame to it ..

Strange there was a shame before

Before even I knew

It was

Wrong.

 

Much like the shame  of doing drugs

Like I do now

To feel good

Or to not feel bad

 

I pounded my head  with my fist

 A habit

I now even did in the streets

 

I am not a particularly good person

My sickness aside

 

I don’t know why

I care if I exist

 

I believe in god

 ..

I didn’t before.

Before this

 

I didn’t need to.

I sort of agree with The New Way’s “no pathology”

“no excuses”

I DON”T THINK

OR

FEEL RIGHT

 

I never did

I am aggressive

I am Mean

 I am cold

 I am careless

 I have tics

These tics are also in my mind

I can’t explain …

But Going against my Mentors

 I do not believe that what one thinks
“goodness”  or Has much to do with a person’s

“personhood”

..

As in

Being one

With the world

And wishing no ill will toward It

Or my fellowmen


I am not even hateful towards my mentors

Who have tried their best


Thank goodness Lisa had left the plates unwashed
and there was something to occupy my mind beside
Cole's endless "reverie"
 


 

my doctor said.
i could leave the house and walk around freely
as long
as I wore
a tag
informing
the general public I was
"not right"

Monday, December 17, 2012

did i have a choice?

Oh you have a choice alright?
Dig it

or die


 

Thursday, December 13, 2012

have we got that whole.,
concentration

camp
I am owned

by
...
such and such out of our system?

Can
we please just get on with it?

 
Evan Graphed

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

David waited in his car
 
 
behind a Laundromat
The inserts were never meant for private use.



David hated explaining the technology
but alot of the clients needed some kind of scientific mindfuck of information or they didnt feel they were getting their money's worth


audio can be sent to the auditory cortex of the subject's brain (bypassing the ears) and images can be sent into the visual cortex.
The inserts can alter a subject's perceptions, moods and motor control.
Dome allows for a complete audiovisual brain-to-computer link.
The EMF emission from the brain can be decoded into the current thoughts, images and sounds in the subject's brain.
 
coded and pulsed    
electromagnetic signal  trigger evoked potentials (events) in the brain,

 thereby forming sound and visual images in the brains' neural circuits. EMF Brain Stimulation can also change a person's brain-states and affect motor control.

 
Two-way electronic Brain-Link or Graphing is done by
remotely
monitoring neural audiovisual information while transmitting sound

bypassing the ears and transmitting faint images to the visual cortex bypassing the optic nerves and eyes
 
 The  man he would meet in the laundry
 wanted to Loony up his wife


 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

it's ingenious actually how on target these guys are.
in terms
of pushing buttons

for instance
i
and several gay men
I know
have a "fear"
and almost

embedded
shiver
...
spasm
roll over
regression

(something to that reguard)
let me explain
I am
almost finished...
my mind is
going
...
i am being reduced.
..i will soon be removed..

but the sound and vision.continues
almost pulse for pulse.
as I am on ritalin


i hate the stuff.
but I want to really BE HERE
for The End