it doesnt matter if you see the beam or whatever it's called coming out of the remote does it Jim? I mean you see that it turns on the TV right? it's the same way with
neural acoustics Evan explained It's scientifically proven that thoughts(and frequencies of consciousness) literally,not figuratively enter the atmosphere
it's the same way with
neural acoustics and some people. people like you Jim who have sought the the higher path but have come from a lower one have insight
He has suggested I become A shepperd A look out and open hand for Low Paths
Fuck you was my first thought but settled myself knowing I was reacting to something the Old Way but seriously. on one hand he's telling me my fMRIs are on a high Path but he thinks I am ooo so familiar still with Ruiner and Low Path thinkers
his new touchword is settle yourself
LOOKOUT PROVISION . a shepperd
I can finally graph freely about my EVERDAYS with him and he knows I don't mean disrespect for The Process but he says it's simply too early in The New Way for me to write about it harshly people might misunderstand
it would be like mocking the space program before they even put a rocket in the air.
he knows i need work my degenrate style of art is an affront to New Way sensibilities but there's fuckin little else to replace it
settle yourself
one day I might also be able to monitor and sheppard Ruiners intraneurally .
but for now it 's up to me to do it on foot. what he calls NOTATION and FOLLOW UP
meanwhile he sits in his ivory tower collecting fMRIreadings of the" saints of our times" although I have a feeling when the trumpet blows the extreme low frequencies are gonna sound alot like Rain(y)
unification of the neural patterns of HIGHER PATH trumpeting through the ENWAYS in High Definition Extreme Low Frequency
HEAVEN FORBID A TECHNOLOGY and a CONCEPT COME ALONG TO RID THE WORLD OF PAIN AND SADNESS.
FOR ALL TIME
and forever
IF ONE SEES A BLUEBIRD
AND IF THIS BLUE BIRD MAKES YOU SMILE
IS THIS BLUE BIRD CONTROLLING YOUR MIND?
IS IT?
IF A NANOWAVE OR A FREQUENCY MAKES YOU SMILE
IS THIS TINY INVISIBLE WAVE.A WAVE THAT OCCURS NATURALLY IN THE AIR ...IS THIS MIND CONTROL?
ruiners love
incongruity, discontinuity, uncertainty
RUINERS LOVE pain!
and possess an inherent desire to spread self reflective awareness around.
NOBODY CAN THINK BETTER THAN YOU
there can not be a better Way
or better Men
or a better mind or way of Being
than who
your dad?
your girlfriend
talk about mind Control
IT'S THE RUINERS Jim! or what Evan calls the"Luddites" crying OLD WAY OLD WAY
spreading paranoia by speaking of New Sound and Vision Technology as " mindcontrol"
what type of man am I this morning.waiting to see if I am forgiven for presenting my circumstances in such a severe way.
just a beer too many.
and i so easily turn.
not going forward.
a boat spinning in circles
The Process stops
wordless communications between hierarchy
after a point
education becomes subjugation
process and detachment
one concludes the journey is only clincial
and all too personal
my private tensions and fears heightened and amplified by numbers.enough pause to readjust to a decimal change in frequency or another "version"
given up believeing the lie,the lie that had kept me breathing and hoping..now ashamed that I had believed there was good reason
the singularity
a new breed
that these pieces will somehow be assimilated
into some pure soul
but instead....
a mobius strip
of my own triggers and neuroses
to be honest.the first thing to go is
sanity
i wonder what i would have been like
or turned into
if way back in **'
they didnt make me into their project
sure i wasnt exactly on top of the world
not in my life and certainly not
in that
hotel in hollywood just the place where these
"mentors
find
"subjects' like me.
yeah
the first thing to go with
"brain games"" is one's mind
so what they"re left with
is muck
the first intrusion so horrible .so terrifying that something.something inate just retreats.
maybe flies away.(I hope .I hope)
yet they piddle around in this damaged muck.
what is left of one's brain
after
for reasons i used to only guess but seem unfortunately to sorta have figured out
'oh of course it's science fiction to you
but to me
this
has become the most usual thing in the world
in fact i miss it when they arent goin stampy on me
but let me tell you
that first time they did it
and for the first few months i was fuckin scared all the time
imagine.
having something so bizarre happen .
and i was in my 20's
but what gets me
is
how it hurt some basic part of me
maybe even my soul
and maybe thats worth dying over.
this type of technology
for any reason
should be banned outright before it is too late.
or at least used by
people who have had it done to themselves
exactly as it was done to the person it is being done to
not for small cycles of 5 hours here and there in 2 week stints
with knowledge of what is going on
i can see there might be in some people's minds reasons for keeping things quiet
i can see that
mAYBE ONLY CUZ IT'S BEEN RUBBED INTO MY HEAD
some people are considered
expendable
or for science
'
or in this case for industry
for *****
for "the future"
if this is the future.
especially if it is mine
i want no part of it
and trust me.i do not believe i will have a future much longer
but as my dad said once
everyone needs to feel they have left a mark
he told me that there is graffiti by ancient Egyptians that i guess proved to someone if only themselves they were here.
i don't believe i will be "outted" in this project EVER
and it is really anything anyone involved should be proud of?
fffffiction fiction ficccction....yes.yes
gotta keep it ......unreal.
unreal is how it feels and unreal might keep me alive a bit longer
as if anyone would believe the real story
a fuck of alot stranger this this muckity muck
(sometimes i do recall people SAW alot of this..
not from the "project"point of view but with their eyes)
there was no reason for me to be acting as i was.(no legitimate explanation from any psychological view,or drug induced behavioral patter,although just close enuf to mask the "situation at hand)
nor for that long.
it doesnt add up
not in 1994.or 2011
can i get a witness
1022 pine st/burbank blvd indiancanyon drive
this project that might have been far fetched in 94 NOT so DAMN much in 2012 huh..
gots to keep it unreal though
THESE GUYS LOVE LOVE LOVE the unreal
it wasn't the weight of Akihito's arm around him.
that made it impossible for Adam to move
it was his thoughts.
they seemed to be his own .
as they hadn't been for quite sometime
he was afraid.
he graphed "Valerie,Valerie help.."
the very same voice he had been so afraid of he now needed more than ever.
the very same voice that had nearly made him lose his mind in Los Angeles.That had for a time put him on tranquilizers and hospital watch,that had made David ,who was to be his lieutenant
tell Valerie he wasn't up to snuff.
"he's just not finished The Process" he heard Valerie say,as he lay in the hospital room in the psychiatric ward
"he's ruined in my eyes David said...I'll always see him as this".A ruiner.A ruiner who TOLD about the voices.what else do you think he might have said?"
"he can hear you," Valerie said,"nothing he doesn't know anything"
Adam saw David leave the room and asked Valerie to maybe get him some more medicine.
"no more medicine.It was a break with reality or something.One never tells anyone about hearing voices.Or thoughts of being controlled do you understand?They can do anything to you when you say things like that.What special things happen between special friends are between us.DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
Adam had arrived in Kyoto months earlier.
He had finished the process
And had been told what IT was for.
Adam's job.The reason he had been born in fact was to "play" the part of Akihiko's lover.
For a special mission,which involved things Valerie still did not feel comfortable telling him.
especially after his indiscretion talking about "voices"
All Adam knew was that his mission entailed him gaining Aki's trust.
"playing" the part of a houseboy and lover.
But times like now.
beneath Akihiko's arm
traces of himself came back to him
Traces that Valerie had warned him about.Traces that might have been "planted" into his unconscious.Lies.
Adam saw himself in Ohio
not .this time laying in a hospital room,
but in fact walking freely in a hospital
dressed in medical blues.
Following other people dressed as he was.with clip boards.Making rounds
not this.
not this version of himself.
in some man's apartment
not on some mission.
for a moment he remembered his training,his process.How proud it sometimes made him feel .
shhhhhhhhh Valerie would say .her voice turning to rhythm and sound and pulse and comfort
his mind
usually kept some kind of standard pace
but he had drank tonight
just 3 beers
after the recital
his mentors had told him to scan the auditorium.
for THEM
he would know who THEY were.
But all he saw were faces
and bodies
some overdressed.
some under dressed
some old
some young
He sensed nothing
Maybe THEY werent here tonight
Again.
in the bar
Valerie graphed that it was his mission to guard Akihiko and to be ON THE LOOK OUT for Enemies.and PEOPLE OF AGENCY AND INTENT
Under the table Akihiko had unzipped Adam's fly and had begun stroking him
Valerie graphed that it was important that Adam let Aki do this for it helped both of them provice a cover.
But Adam felt like crying.
Not only because he felt ashamed
but also because he knew he should have learned not to be.That he was letting his Mentors down.
And that's when he began to drink too much
Never once did Akihiko let on that he knew that the only reason Adam had come to Kyoto because he was on a mission.
that he was secretly an agent.a spy.
Valerie graphed him on these occasions of over thinking that it was his job to be cute. and be dumb.
That this reckless over thought could get him killed and also destroy his credibility for as a rule "rent boys" don't think much
nor was it particularly attractive
AND this type of WANDERMIND showed
what if Aki was to come upon him with this stray reverie in his countenance.
Both your cover AND ours will be blown
AND MAYBE Valerie hissed if Adam wasnt so busy being so self absorbed and a RUINER perhaps he might have already formed an alliance with Akihiko
so he might share some of these and other confidences
Under Aki's arm.A 50 year old business man.In this luxery apartment.
So far nothing whatsoever did Adam pick up upon
either for or against The New Way
(Adam himself didn't know if he was for or against The New Way" and valerie had told him that for a LOOKOUT like himself that WAS the only WAY .Never ever bring up the New Way.Nor ever speak of....there was so much
to not speak of
but really so little to say...
He wondered if THEY had purposely confused him WANDERMIND WANDERMIND repeated in his era. in his head.
intense enough to remind him of his mind going fast enough like this that he was hospitalized.
the "feeling" stopped.
He concentrated on the sound of a fan in the other room to bring "The Process" back
it was understood that Aki would be allowed to "have his way with you" if he wants Valerie or another Mentor made clear.
And always at those times his mind seemed to automatically reset or rectify itself
as if on these occasions someone or something was changing a station on his inhibitions
and reasserting the heroic feeling of THE CAUSE
which would be known to him when he had understood the mission to begin with.
a whirling ,warning feeling came upon him if he ever tried to think through "this riddle"
also a sharp paint in the back of his head and a loop of WANDERMIND WANDERMIND to guide him back to his intent and mission .And the less he knew .the better.
But times like now
Having drank too much.
Here.In the middle of the night
Next to this man who had begun to repulse him more everyday.
His mind seemingly unleashed from his protective mentors which always guided him back to CAUSE
were lost in a fog of alcohol
His mind which by now had become used to conferencing and feedback
and set parameters
now unbridled.
Panicked
Still underneath Aki's arm
Adam 's mind went WANDERMIND WANDERMIND without repercussion
What mission?
What enemy?
What "service" was he really providing.
"houseboy/rent boy/ spy "Who was writing this shit he thought.I was a fucking medical student
His eyes darted around the room.
He really was in Kyoto under an old Japanese business man's arm.
He touched the arm as if to see if it was real.
And new fears went through him
What was this "process"
what was it for?
WHO were these people
Why had he suddenly left Ohio for Los Angeles.
to Become an actor?
HE NEEDED THE VOICES
he felt like he was going crazy.
"help,help help'He graphed in his mind.
at the same time feeling insane .that he had somehow been taught how to ..what was it called.graphing..
what he had overheard David call intraneural interface
what he had used to call "the voices"
sweat began to pore from him
Valerie had told him to never drink.to even be careful nursing just one drink or contact might by difficult
(had told him.Or graphed him...my god my god my god thinking of the craziness ,the silliness of the gibberish in his mind,and worse that it was all somehow true.The arm still over his chest proved it. he felt himself starting to cry i was a medical student I was a medical student I used to drive a car. i had a girlfriend I had a mother.a father..)
He looked over at Akihito
and thought of all the sexual things they had done..
for the cause
He thought he might throw up as he ran to the bathroom
He splashed water on his face
He felt a tingling on the back of his skull
In the mirror he saw or thought he saw his nose move.
First to the left.
Next to the right.
Next he noticed his ears moving back and forth .as if they were being pushed.
He through more water on his face
only to again look in the mirror and see his entire face
was now round
his nose 3 sizes bigger
moving to the left.to the right
His ears stuck straight out
He remembered screaming before hitting his head on the bathroom rug
Aki stood over him
Smiling
Holding something
that looked like a remote control
in the other hand he heard Valerie 's voice,but Aki snapped the phone shut.
"repulsive,' Aki said,bending over him.So that Adam could see he was wearing what looked like a hearing aid in his ear..
Aki grabbed a hand mirror and brought it close to Adam's face,still round.Still distorted.
"Now,"said Aki,"THAT'S repulsive!"
Adam laid there on the bath rug
Closing his eyes on the reflection of himself."
still on the bathroom floor,through the opened door Adam saw Aki
in the other room . with his laptop..
every now and than sneaking a look at Adam.
Closing his lap top Akihiko returned to the bathroom
kneeling over Adam,rubbing his forehead gently.
Turning away,making a point of hitting specific numbers on his cell phone.
At the same time Adam felt some of the pressure dissipate on his skull and facial nerves
with some amusement Aki studies Adam's face,
Holding the handmirror up to him as every feature now "fell into place"
"hey handsome"Aki said,removing the mirror
and kissing him full square on the lips.
"don't ever say,think,or even imagine I am repulsive again.I paid close to 17 million dollars for your ass.AND your face.Get it?"
Evan felt it was his job to keep his Cole's neurals fearful enough that the men in Black Slacks wouldn't intercede on Cole's Caveat
Evan had warned Cole to stay away from perusing online ,in books ,in college libraries any information about synthetic telepathy and to sure as hell might be set into his left and right hemisphere with such apparatus not to go near direct energy weapons testing on united states citizens "besides" Evan graphed at the Merge bio -tech in "the spaces in between" Cole's bull headed ..guessing and this guessing messing with Cole's reformatting did Cole really think that any ex -CIA or ex FBI or CBS developer of Intracortical Assuagement was ALLOWED to really explain what was reallllly going on here? Evan tried to make Cole understand that these ex- this and ex-that's were placed ..as so much Street Theater and slight of hand to feed the human subjects...the Proxy.. misinformation and didn't Cole realize half those books written about synthetic telepathy and Psychotronics were written ONLY by "spooks" to give a human subject just enough information to screw with a Human Husk by in fact letting the Husk KNOW ..this isn't a dream THIS is really happening? did it never occur to Cole that any important information concerning either the run downs with the tech or information about the tech itself sure as hell wouldn't be published either online nor in a book and certainly not by any ex -CIA ,NSA, NBC 'insider" they wrote these books as Limited Hang Outs... here 's some dough ..buy yourself some Bermuda shorts move to the Keys a few months and "spill das beans"..on us..and we'll pick up the check .. write down just enough true lies that the human test monkeys can
some little apples on the lowest branches of the tree that a Husk could nibble at.. it sometimes got to Evan that Cole truly believed he was getting anywhere...and it also upset Evan that Cole ,who thought of himself as so reasonable actually believed he was getting any "inside inside" from Robert Duncan . If Robbie Duncan had written one word he was told he could not write. Mr Robbie would be fish food. Cole himself had written a first person account of his years as a "perp" working in England on Brain Computer Interface .Cole loved playing the part of an MI -6 named Ian giving away the entire Advanced Technology library of schemes and memes...that Good old England had been working on since the Alan Turing days. Cole ad never been to England ,let alone worked as MI -6 ,5,or otherwise. he simply wrote what was handed to him.. trying to mimic the style of scientist /playa'/ 'Mandler" dousing the text with a Val Kilmer -esque sub plot based on 'The Saint" that fuckin' Parasol Press completely ripped out of his first hand account of being a Tele -Operator gone Breach also Parasol Press places a photo of some old bearded man with nicotine stained hair as Ian Ensworth instead of the mod looking young fellow Evan had suggested "be" Evan/ Ian on the dust cover. Evan removed modified laptop to record INTERJECTIONS the same room a mauve and teal hotel room near the airport where he came specifically to think the anonymity of the room...helped him empty his mind of anything not pertaining to his job at hand even the vaguest symbol or recollection could mare implicate intra cerebral interacts these type of MURALISTIC DREAMS were not his specialty while Evans brainwaves were based on Cole's specifics. it was up to Evan to create more of the pretext than the subtext the VLF waves would be pure brain computer interface with him recording Cole's modalities in case a second introduction of presets needed to be "read back" during another REM it wasnt that Evan wasn't subtle it was more that he was just angry he had to bother introducing a "this is what could happen" scenario to begin with Evan thought progress was being made in Cole's New Way but every few days When he was unmonitored or untethered from a system it was back to the Jimmy Olsen shit of Cole "getting to the bottom of this" these wild swings in personality further convinced Vanessa that indeed Cole was"connected" to some type of" tool "of some kind. good old Robert Duncan's Project Soul Catcher volume 2 (there WAS no Volume One for christ;s sake Evan wanted to remind and shout at Cole's auditory vvvvvvvvvvortex)now a staple in both he and Vanessa's bathroom Evan hated people who kept books in bathrooms. there was something unwholesome about thinking and bodily functions The Rainy Method had been drummed into his head. that thinking was serious business and not some idle occupation one does on the john this revved up hardy boys nonsense precipitated untold man hours of monitoring among the Proxy Cyber secondary Neuralist staff why couldn't the son of a bitch just stuck with possession or aliens? he should have known this wasn't going to be easy on an Urban Egghead but jesus he was also taking the fun out of it and with Vanessa around he couldn't have Cole alone the little puppy Cole his little baby boy bitch god forbid Vanessa caught him staring at the ceiling her snapping her fingers in his face yelling into his ear STOP IT STOP IT as if Cole was some kind of transmitter although . he was. but that was Cole's bizness not hers..wasn't it Evan thought Evan felt bad for Cole as it was Evan who had found Cole for Proxy Cy to steal so now they had to maintain Cole's brain waves somewhere between sceptic /zombie/ boyfriend all the while trying to introduce Tad his love interest Tad meanwhile had been asked to move into Cole's apartment building changing his appearance just enough that Cole wouldn't place him as the actor in the bodywash ads Tad had gone thru the trouble at Proxy's expense of excusing himself from a small but recurring part in a new TNT crime drama Figer assumed could visualize himself more realistically as The originally Cole he had seemed at first so smitten with if Cole had a lover. why was Cole was being so damn ungrateful when all this was being done for him was anybody's guess. didnt he realize how much money he was costing them? and time with his rather arbitrary ,if you asked Evan, self will
funny.you dont see many spys around leaping from rooftops or in any high speed chases ...
Evan had begun the dream with a thought from an August 14th reading concerning Cole's annoying obsession of trying to understand "the Process" the MURALS were also to see where introduced triggers might take the subject. people do not tend "to lie" in dreams" at the same time Evan had to keep reestablishing the focal point and props of the dream enough that the rooftop party introduced to show Evan his lowering stature "in the world" if he kept up this search.and kept thinking of himself as some god damned Target Individual or TI as the piddlers online called themselves. Evan too had read along with Cole these people's accounts of brain tampering through electronic means maybe some of them were in fact 'tampered " with but not one he could recognize as "app-ed". of course other companies were doing the same "product launches" and pre tests. but didnt Cole know ,or sense he was Evan's creation and not some god damned Target the more Cole read about these wackos the more he began identifying with them
all Evan wanted for Proxy Cy and Richard Figer was enough of an augmentation that Cole could live out some of Figer's fantasies of being a rent boy and a porn star
if Poor Keith didn't shoot himself in the head Cole wouldn't even have this oppurtunity and her he was not even making an effort to try to change
Figer had a very specific script that first required some of this downtime to get rid of Cole's intellectual drabness. make him into a guy's guy Figer requested. than we'll work on the looks thing
Evan thought he was making enormous strides
it was Vanessa destroying his work
it was as if every day Proxy Cyber wove a tapestry and ever other day vanessa came along and ripped apart the threads
so what if Proxy Cy gathered a little data
for future projects
it was the way any company worked
but it also financed
The New Way
sometimes as Gary Rainy said Ethics must be put aside for much larger Ethical consideration down the line
he wants to think of himself as a fucking Targeted individual huh. instead of a pleasant host for Figer?
Evan had made a list of some of the more bizarre confessionals of some of the "targets"who believed that some organization or something had chipped them or something . He wanted Cole to see what he might come off as if he kept up this "HUNT FOR HEAD OCTOBER" shit
EXT -ROOFTOP-NIGHT COLE in a pissed stained T shirt. tin foil hat on his head reading a book about magical unicorns
"so where were all these secret microfilms and computer chips you seem so keen talking about
A man in a dark coat says holding the back of Cole's head so he can best see the -Long way down
" oh probably in some homeless person's rectum or prostitute's open sore," Cole says in a manner ant to emphasize how crude
getting graphic about ....human experimentation
can "read" to the dark coated stranger stranger who suddenly transforms ..dream style intp one of Vanessa's friend.
as in this" mind mural"
Cole is now
at
Vanessa's party.
on HER rooftop
where she is throwing an engagement party
for she and her current lover
"scuse me "the woman says deliberately spilling some crackers on herself -,anything to get away from this "disturbed man" and fast.
(2) not even dreams are my own
what type of man am I this morning.
waiting to see if I am forgiven for presenting my circumstances in such a severe way SSSSSSSoul VCatcher
was supposed to be precious?
part of the breadcrumbs
all Targeted at first at first find relief from
hope..
why ruin it for others?
why..what !...are you kidding me I want to scream and never stop screaming!
.just a beer too many.
and i so easily turn...my mood changes like cartoon madness
but this IS cartoon madness.
not going forward. a boat spinning in circles
The Process stops
wordless communications between hierarchy after a point education becomes subjugation process and detachment one concludes the journey is only clincial
and all too personal
my private tensions and fears heightened and amplified by numbers.enough pause to readjust to a decimal change in frequency or another "version"
given up believeing the lie,the lie that had kept me breathing and hoping..now ashamed that I had believed there was good reason the singularity a new breed that these pieces will somehow be assimilated into some pure soul
but instead.... a mobius strip of my own triggers and neuroses
they picked stevie "too good" up on santa monica drugged him lost track of him in 95" back when intra neural was like two cans tied together in terms of sophistication and the "mentors" were more like bulldogs than steerers whatever the case "too good" was disengaged.
against advice he had begun taking certain mind dulling drugs that made either ELF or VLF readings nearly impossible besides a drugged acquistion was a useless commoditybut "too good". was back everyone got a kick out of it at first little steven who now must have been in his 40s or something writing about the "puppet masters"of Beverly Hills and ventura county
Igor's lucky find on santa monica blvd "little punk wouldn't even give me a blow job expected me to shell 40$ for a "do me"?-was the word on high his ""too good to suck cock"attitude"was the final factor in his fate to be "a chosen one"
back when they really were basically operating with the equivalent of tin cans tied together with string
back when nobody knew what they were doing
(or did they?)
whatever the shake up was.
"too good "left town
Dome assumed "I know my name is Steven" would simply chalk their "test run" up to .....some drug induced hallucination but he was becoming bothersome some article he wrote about how Dome"s entire structure began with all matter of criminal misadventures concerning illegal use of intra cerebral activities. called Dome's mentoring program Human Trafficking filled with statitics....and brainy shit about Human trafficking after the sale of drugs being the most profitable "off the books " industry in the world and off the radar BCI and intraneural technology will soon double the 32 billion dollar crime he wrote that inside sources claim that 30% of the sex workers in California and Nevada have been Domed he also elaborates that the ubiquitous casting couch being now a trade off of "penny for your thought"sponsership some Cole ish pretensious nonsense about the selling of one's soul for a piece of fame and fortune has become not only acceptable in "the Industry" but even "stylish" and more gob ............ about how becoming a ""brand' or a "thing' if one hasnt noticed has also become "the thing to be" this culture of Narcissism which Dome ,who he notes all but created and has now found a way to capitalize on the"youth by proxy"miracle of intraneural interface beware .all the young dudes. and pretty girls in summer dresses. for Dome has the spotlight on you.
Vanessa hated to admit it but she sorta liked the new Cole.
they had gotten over some kind of bump
there was no more talk of sci fi versions of Cole's current state
no more conspiracy theory books on the coffee table
no more Drs.
perhaps something had happened ,perhaps something spiritual.or maybe it WAS just stress.
a little breakdown she surmised could often cause one to rebuild into something better
the old Cole was always making her feel like she was naive or downright dumb.always arguing about things like food additives or challenging her over some obscure literary reference
always watching what he ate but what she ate as well.
his carefully followed fitness regiment and self imposed rules for himself about how much tv he could watch or
trans fat he could stomach
Cole had previously seemed to go out of his way to appear as unkempt and disengaged
as Cole felt a serious writer should
now he didn't need to spend 10 minutes fucking up his air
or "scandalize" the gentrified "poser" public
by wearing only pajama bottoms
on a Sunday morning bagel run
for his once his deliberate disarming demeanor and look had now become something genuinely disarming.
Since being "takin"
or "tagged"(hearing THE VOICE)
Cole was every bit as insane
AS ANY "INSANE" WRITER HE HAD ATTEMPTED in emulate
in fact Cole appeared so intriguing these days
he was picked up twice by the local police
.Once shirtless and in boxers in a gully behind the Whole Foods Market
.and another for appearing intoxicated on a park bench near the river
.The police claimed he was non responsive,even towards their flash lights which they shined in Cole's face.One officer told Vanessa he appeared to be in some kind of deep trance attributed to special K or PCP use
on both occasions it was Vanessa who got him out of lock up
both times her presence and excuse of "work stress" negated a trip to a psych ward.
Upon release Cole rested his head like a puppy on Vanessa chest,smiling like a puppy who'd been rescued.
Cole ,who usually was so reticent about both private AND public displays of affection
.
everything about him was changing.
no more put downs about her taste for "conform rock"or "comfort movies"
he'd even begun holding her hand.
she'd begun stopping by his apartment after work to help him out ,do some light housecleaning and make him "eat his vegetables"
they even began playing card games.
but usually he would just put his head on her lap
and ask her to tell him stories
Cole who had never seemed to listen to anyone
was now a patient confidant
Cole seemed to be enjoying listening to her story
of some silly day spent with her mother and sister making Easter eggs only to realize the eggs weren't boiled...
but an errie feeling suddenly seeped into Vanessa that made her stop speaking.
the feeling that she was being somehow "watched' or studied.
not by Cole
but someone or something else
she slid Cole's head off her lap
and placed her hands on the sides of his head bringing him face to face
Vanessa studied his eyes as if
this would help here see something.
"what?"Cole asked
cameras.
would she next be checking his ears for-microphones...seems lunacy was contagious
"what's wrong ?" Cole asked
He knows what's wrong, Vanessa couldn't help but think.
and Cole's eyes,although not in any way visibly
rendered
somehow gave away "some type of tell'
that he had gotten the jist of her recoil
she was sure
Evan yawned Cole yawned EVAN Cole's tele-Operator Nancy Drew would GET OUT of the apartment so he could begin to drill dumbass on this being ONE of the several REASONS we don't mention IT!
her mind flashed back to weeks before,
in the university library
reading a thesis concerning brain computer interface and cyber design implications
she had returned to the thesis and several articles three days in a row
it being that difficult for her to process what Cole's shrink had suggested concerning Cole's new apathetic qualities.
and the reality,according to the periodicals
of real life Body Snatchers
strange how just plain old daily life eradicated the crisis period of Cole's sudden mysterious bout of "schizophrenia"
after all since his hospitalization he had all but stopped stopped talking about "the incident"
about being 'chosen'
somehow his new" ortherworld-liness"had just become the equivalent of him having a new hair cut that might take some getting used to
she wanted to ask him if he still heard from this angel ,this being named 'Evan Rainy" he had spoken and written about
back when he wrote.
back when he was Cole
she suddenly remembered
asshole Cole
who was not This Cole
in a fetal position wearing a pajama bottoms
and practically cooing
at her childhood recollections of picking blueberries when she was 9
'Who are you," she suddenly snapped not quite at Cole
but to some type of " THEM"who had somehow co- opted Cole.Stole .Taken.Altered Cole...
'what?" Cole said.Eating potato chips Evan bit into a candy bar...and looked at his waych..hopingCole would mimic the gesture.so this vanessa would know it was time to leabe them alone
"nothing "she said collecting herself,wishing she had never spoken to Dr Boa or retained so much bizarre neuroscience,looking into his eyes,still not finding him she said,"I'm tired.i have to get home,no more stories"
"Twix" was all Cole said,"these potato chips taste like Twix."
"night Cole"Vanessa said "night cunt,' Evan graphed 'night cun-"Cole said
"what?" Vanessa said
"night run ,"Cole said."we should make a run and get some ice cream.Some ice cream and some Twix"
"do i look fat?" Vanessa asked Cole.
"no"Cole said
"i wasn't talking to you Cole"Vanessa said
"what?"Cole laughed.
"maybe we should skip the desserts and you too Cole ."she said patting his once flat stomach,"but than again you're eating for two aren't you. dummy..I mean honey"
Vanessa looked at Cole
Cole, with a little boy smile on his face and once again realized once more,that in a way, she could care less what was happening or had happened .He was so much better this way.
Sensing she had calmed down he laid his head on her chest and kissed her hand. Evan took off his headset and wiped his lips,spitting out as much Vanessa as he could without a spittoon on hand
Good lord ,I thought paging through the "documents" 42 pages in all
for this important meeting.
it was 9 am and we were gathered like medical residents or field trip students in Dome's "broadcast"booth,all glass and LED lights.
about 15 men and women worked the boards.which were behind a glassed encasement.if one didnt know better one might expect to see phil spector or something orchestrating the Marvelletes or something .Instead of Cole's 4 main Muralists orchestrating Cole's cerebral cortex
the room was dark the tvs were glowing.
each of us held today's print outs pertaining to specific imprintings that Evan needed to work on .As Figer was impatient with Cole's neurals.
one could see that 3 of the four Mentors were wearing headsets wearing presumably studying various gradients and grids concerning Cole's "process"
Valerie telephined the programmer eating a twix behind the glass to cue up a blow up of Cole's phone and computer messages.
next a blow up ,for whatever reason of Cole brushing his teeth.
the POV was from Cole's visual field and was quite blurry as presumably the fMRI concerning cortex still was new enought to requite aditional pixelation.
still it was interesting seeing someone else's teethbrushing habits.
Putting down her phone Valerie used her walkie talkie to ask Twix bar to find out what brand of toothpaste Cole was using.
for some reason brands such as toothpaste meant alot to valerie.as brand identification had more and more to do with memeory encoding than Dome or proxy had previously imagined.
"Cole buys most of his clothes on line .back when he bothered caring what he looked like,no Gap for Cole.always vintage.specifically a private seller in New Orleans.They specialize I suppose in what one might call "mod" fashion ",Valerie said.
one 7 of the giant moniters appeared Cole wearing what appeared to be a dark blue wind breaker followed by several candid photos of Cole at a cafe and some more candid pictures of Cole taken from the camera on his computer.where he also appeared to be wearing the wind breaker.
Good lord ,I thought paging through the "documents" 42 pages in all for this important meeting.
everyone at the boardroom table had duplicates of all of Cole's online purchases and user habits in front of them.
"he orders around 3 books a month mainly from amazon.com.specifically short story collections and difficult to find "zine" compilations.Shoes from Zappatos,she said skimming over the list,did you know Cole only owns 2 pairs of sneakers.he prefers boots.Has anyone noticed a change in Cole's footware.I'm surprised he doesn't wear flip flops.
a large image of Cole's footware appeared on the screen .
a photo taken from a car it seemed from GROUNDERS
everybody please skip to page four concerning Cole's viewing habits.
as you can see he had purchased a 6 month trial of netflix.no movies have been either sent or mailed back in the last 2 weeks.his preferences always independent films.foreign.very little guilty pleasure " viewing although if everyone can please turn to page 6 in July of last year it seems he rented 3 Bruce Willis action movies in a 3 week parcel of time.I would like both Jack and Angie to try to figure out that one.I'd also like to know why i wasn't informed of this.must i do everything around here people.
the team, as they were called got a bit of a show when they saw twix bar put on a headset and another Mentor almost leap from the otherside of the room to knock the set off him.
there was a rule that mentors must never interneural without an ambiguous palate.
while most of the sifting was done with a barrier to such loading every now and then reguardless a bonded neurality squeaked through
all they needed was Cole spending the next 2 hours wondering why had tasted a Twix bar in his forebrain cerrebellum
one of figer's main desires for his aquisition was for Cole to begin working off some of his "artsy writer"affectations and begin 'reeling in the years" in a manner more suited for Figer's particular needs.
no more Wholefoods but Giant microwave ready and no NPR but a resurrgent intrest in hard rock.
no more covering a stray burp with his hand or 3 minutes picking out a clean t shirt.45 dollar hair cuts replaced by a crop top that both figer and Matthew his late evening mentor prefered.
and cole had begun watching more television
his scans were specifically monitered to the frame by frame in such cases.
on August 2nd a commercial advertising a men's body wash began it's run,featuring a lean ,handsome 30 year old actor that had been Domed 2 years ago .
suprisingly Cole's pupils.dialated .032 mm upon retinal assimilation of Tad Riveski's exit of aqua shower.and another .11 mm during a mid shot of Tad wrapping a burgendy towel around his midrift.
his core temperature fluctuating .18 percent during a close up of Tad's face and a signifigant FMRI cadence of .3 % when the camera circled Tad's calf muscle.
Evan called Michael ,a dome associate at a local affiliate station that broadcasted the commercial and made arrangements and payments to replay the commercial more in accordance to Cole's viewing habits for the duration of the day.
Recent neurals had predicted a 3 hour tv binge .
as the stage had been well set for Cole to have quite little else to do.
Cole,thought eva,who had presumed himself to be so independent thinking and unpredictable was now segmented into 70 yellow post its on a graph board in Valerie Prentiss' inner office
after a meal of graham crackers and peanut butter and a Hines Root Beer* Cole again focused his softening belly afternoon on television.As requested prior to the body wash commercial Michael inserted a PIVOT SWIRL lasting 7 nano seconds to help the Mentors instigate a sudden flux of directed frequency towards the 7HT neurotransmitters in Cole's hypothalamus
*The hires root beer according to a june 12th neural tape reminded Cole of his late father,specifically a 1985 camping trip,wherein both of them lost and in a patch of woods took turns taking careful sips of beverage.Valerie noted the switch from,diet Coke as key evidence that Cole was ready for even more regressive dream therapy input
DCT could bypass the typical restraints concerning acquisitions of certain machinery concerning magnetic imaging and sound waves most private industries could not.and thanks to an "unexpected"surplus of resonance equipment"in the DCT Arkansas warehouse there was again the specific imaging processors and magnets to carry on and tempt many of the best scientists from Stanford and UCLA to switch hats from science to the entertainment being that DCT gave academics a freedom and paycheck unheard of in more convetional industries.Anything went in the old jet hanger in Yuma that Dome had leased for research and development involving Parasol Productions Interneural Intract program
"we are talking about people who fly to Indonesia because it's the first day of pear season,people who safari for polar bears and really do book flights on rockets to the moon.The type that often has this type of money and the power that goes with it is not going to be satisfied watching Kyra Sedgewick on TNT,nor should they."-Valerie Prentis
Valerie felt that intraneural interact should be small.Select.Private.Like a fine line of tailored clothing.Forget the masses.At least in the beginning.
There was a three prong strategy that the company could in a sense run on it's own input and output.Grasping stories from participants during phase one of one on one exchanges.Although each person's neurology and consciousness was different ,the initial participants could set some standard operative "story board" in synch with how one processes the presumed difficulties of direct person to person or brain computer interface
phase two would be to train a new type of script writer/director for Interneural Interact
based mainly on the recorded thought patterns of the initial developers.
because of the legalities concerning "the process" it is important we keep the initial 'tests" under wraps.
The third phase is of course further down the road.. presenting this new type of entertainment to the public at large
and it is here that we have an opportunity
Dome and Parasol have developed a way to go intraneural WITHOUT headsets
in this way
operations of broadcast are imperceptible
the air is ours
it's about who gets ON first
who sets the tempo of the New Way
imagine the benefit of introducing the 2022 fall line up .and sign on service
discretely
.
we are 10 years ahead of the curve
.which includes acquisition of the necessary physical plant for expansion of resonance ,frequency networks
the airwaves are open
it's about who gets it first
who sets the tempo of the New Way
We want to be the First to dip our toes in the waters
and are willing to take many risks to protect both our and your interests.
Many frims are developing this technology
but only Parasol has the nerve
and the passion to take the airwaves
it's about who gets it first
Äre you alright Cole?"Vanessa asked,staring at the books littering the coffee table .Books about
aliens,witch craft,and secret societies
books with silly psychedelic covers and triangles with eyes in them
Cole had grown a full beard and had begun drinking in the morning
eating garbage trolling the net for abductees and victims of mind control
the next day it would be another theory,he'd talk about antenaes and transmissions,next it would be thoughts of possession and questions about faith.He even asked her if he should become a Catholic
all sorts of explanations for what he whisperingly refered to as "the ear thing"
she had spoken to his shrink who seemed crazier than Cole was,until she was beginning to believe in conspiracy theory.He explained that Cole wasnt ill,all his symptoms pointed toward experimentation
"so Cole is a Guinie Pig? For whom?" she asked
I didn't say I was sure ,but it's been happening alot,alot more than you might think""he said softly ,even looking around the room as if they were in some spy movie,""it doesn't make sense that a schizophrenic would remember hallucinations in this way,The patient.I mean Cole's recollections are story based,a true schizophrenics are not....perhaps he has been targeted.I had a patients last year who I also suspected was being gang stalked.Very state of the art. in fact it sounds quite exciting...""
The Dr. informed her that there have been a rash of "the ear thing"all over California and Oregon
Gang Stalking techniques are utilized to keep the "participant" quiet..
Several "things are being tested in the civilian population.""Things"" it's really not a good idea to speak about.
A colleage of mine who treated several such patients was murdered. last year,in his home.I really don't feel comfortable treating Cole at this time
"have you told Cole?About any of this?"Vanessa asked.
ÿou don't seem to understand",if I tell Cole I am telling "them"".Your ex boyfriend is esentially a tape recorder.It's called synthetic telepathy.Brain waves are read from..."
"Jesus Christ Dr. are you telling me Cole has computer chips ,"she said grabbing her coat getting ready to leave,she had heard that most psychiatrists are crazier than their patients.
"there's no need for computer chips.That's whats frightening""
"good bye Dr"" she said.
She drove from the office to her apartment and began doing what Cole had been doing
trolling the interent for answers
.All she needed was 9 day old beard,a bathrobe and some books about demons and she'd BE Cole.
But what she found was interesting
.And terrifying ,if it were true that in fact they were doing tests
earlier that week Cole had called her in the middle of the night explaining that he was being called upon by angels.
She had snapped at him.
She felt bad about it then ,worse about it now,she dialed his number and suprisingly he picked it up on it's first ring
'I have been chosen" he said
Sounding happier than she had ever remembered him being
he explained to Nessa that he was communicating with spirits
he sounded downright angry when Vanessa told him what Dr.Boa said ,not even happy that the Dr. didn't believe he was hearing voices but was for whatever reason what Boa had called a targeted individual.And that there was equipment that could mimick things like telepathy
"i am not a targeted Individual.you seem to be implying that I am some kind of victim .I am being trained,Not everyone you know thinks of me as some namby pamby inept loser you know."
"what are you being trained for if I might ask?"
"maybe I am being trained first to open my mind to new experiences.A new Language.A new Way."
"and what is the New Way?"
"it's part of The Process.And until you've been asked to be Processed one doesn't talk about the process to Ruiners"
"should I bow down to you or ask you to simply take me to your leader?"
"please leave Vanessa.You are spilling your negative energy all over the apartment."
Vanessa glanced around the dirty apartment ,stacked with dirty plates ,spilled soda cans,the complete opposite of Cole's usually rigid house cleaning standards
"well there's some negative energy in this apartment alright but it isnt mine"
".the "possession"" thing or whatevr you call it is not real,I did research.You're not the only one in this mess.They're testing things...you have not been chosen for anything,According to Boa there are reports of this all over California,most of whom end up in institutions,jails or under a car.It's not a good thing for you to write about.Dr Boa doesn't even want to see you.There's a Dr in Ventura County who works with targeted individuals"
"Targeted individuals .GET OUT.you were never able to deal with anyone having something you don't.Finally i have something .Someone I am legitamantly connected to.We never did bond .Not like this.Our nervous systems never spoke to each other.we never read each other's souls."