"would you read a dog's thoughts?"i mean if you read a dogs thoughts all day would it be the same as having or loving a dog.or would you end up hating the dog.I mean if you put an intraneural headset on a dog and could read their actions or see the world through their eyes?"Sheila asked


Evan rarely drank or went out with people from work

and now he remembered why

"really Sheila,can we turn it off ,for one second?"Evan rainy said

"Drew can't Timothy can't.."Sheila said referring to the "participants" tagged with Merge technology

"they shouldn't be able to 'turn it off" they  need to be monitored,they're dangerous,"Evan said..wishing for a moment he could" lotion up Sheila" and teach her a thing or to about respect and contention

"dangerous?" Sheila said ordering a beer"timothy can barely tie his shoes"

a male whore named Timothy
had agreed to be "merged" with a mentor
who wanted to see if they could
make him straight with Co Conscious Direct neural interface
and eventually
Timothy's mentors went a bit too far
with a specific lesson
via Immersive 5 sense over ride convincing timothy that
demons had taken over his body
to get "the gay out"

so frightening was the rendition
that timothy
banged his head so hard
on a wall to make 'the voices' stop
he caused
his own concussion

"we can't quite figure out what they are specifically thinking Evan said 
"or what they are doing.. at first Feiger thought he was watching a tv show ,Evan looked round the bar and whispered" ..timothy's outburst was timothy making progress...was Timothy deciding he wanted to change....it was a step "away" from perversion....this is after all an experimental procedure"

"Mental being the key word here.you're becoming more and more withdrawn.more and more like THEM."



" this J..
this cocksucker
this meth freak
he won't cover it up.we can get him disorganized,and aggressive for about 20 minutes..but he refuses to follow through'"

"why should he follow through."

"to cover it up"

"he is the cover up"she sipped her beer,"as if anyone would believe it,lighten up"

"You don't know what it's like.you don't get it"

"i picture it thought.I do work there you know.I picture" being john malkovich" meets "avatar "or something.and that movie with that actor from west side story.,"she said snapping her fingers

Evan was looking at her.he was staring into his beer.Like one one of them.like a zombie.

"Brainstorm "she said ,too loud,remembering

Evan freaked literally covering her mouth with his hand,"are you crazy?" he whispered

it was draining work

it had driven several readers literally mad

it was one thing to read brainwaves as data on a screen

but quite another to put on the headset and go "inside"
when Evan volunteered for this
he expected a few minor jags
but certainly not this

" little ingrate! shit" he shouted,slamming down his beer

Sheila was used to this Evan still responding to J
even when he took off "the thinking cap"

from day one it "was who is this realllllly

this isnt an angel this isnt an alien," Evan said, as always mimicking J's speaking voice and intraneural verbalizationa

J's trance like stare was beginning to concern Merge ProxyCyber
Evan's ward
(J) had begun doing strange things on the street to bring attention to himself.
even carrying around a puppet on his hand

"he just looks crazy,like any other nutcase,don't worry so much"

it showed.and he was his responsibility

if he kept up the staring he would have to be "read a story"

everyone knew what that meant

Evan didnt know what to think anymore
Merge (previously called Dome)'s proposition was hands off.
the only hands on help that J would get dealing with his circumstances would be around his neck
J had been warned
and here he was snapping at Sheila for saying the name of a god damned movie when Beanbag was walking down the street with a fucking puppet on his hand
oh yeah and typing his nasty version about the entire clusterfuck
online

there was something both infantile and aggressively primal about the entire process that Evan could not explain
 

also something so boring

the boredom Evan once told a fellow "mandlers' is what cause some mentors
to get their proxy in all sorts
of hot water...

there was nothing worse than being in another's head
when that head was
idle
or
introspective

ACTION
was what Neuronautics was all about...
Action and attainment of experiences....

if not for the Proxy than for the mentors
whose job it was
to
steer the troublesome toward enlightenment..

but most mentors admitted.
they just
wanted their Prox to
be
Heightened
enough
so they could

feel removed from
the
co conscious
sense that ,it was somehow wrong
to use this  rather intrusive tool to begin with 

Evan himself felt like banging his head against a wall
for a Mandler to dwell on "Mandling"
with this kind of
sentimentality
was
often what lead to many a  mentor's breakdown

and their
derision from  the New way of
Neuronautics

Evan felt like a coach

working with spastic or something

lately ever single thing j did was wrong

he couldnt even take a shower correctly according to Evan

"I mean if some entity .i dont care where it came from came into your life .wouldnt you just enjoy it.accept it.appreciate it.keep it to yourself?"Evan said,slurring his words,now on his 4th beer

""

"what did you expect Evan..."she asked

"I expected what we shown when they asked for volunteers...the point of view of someone going down on a bob sled,or a rollercoaster"

"so j was supposed to spend his life on some roller coaster or bobsled?

how long does a roller coaster ride last?"

----------------------------------------------------------2-------------------------------------------------

j was raised

 for Merge

 

his entire childhood scripted..allotted

 

and sequenced

toward imprint and associations..

 

to keep J busy

...to keep J.,.warehoused...

and on pause

...

 

it was decided

 

that certain keynote impediments would necessarily be made

to render J's psyche

injured to such an extent

that J

could not

ruin the presets...involved

in the task

of ...

"Stylized Living"

 

the jettison of all adult capabilities. Ethics and efficacy

had their perks

 

as

placed friends

were always willing to lead J astray

 

 Donkey Boys they were called..

who would lead

  the little puppet of a man ...down and down

   the rabbit hole

 

reverse brain engineering required

a map

and Situationals provided

J's Mandlers

a rigid guided timeline of

ritualized existence

 

 

 

 

a program

created in the mid 60's

to create "the Referential Man"

and for this reason and this reason alone

Merge could not ''kill him off"

 

at least not quite yet..