so this babysitter's boyfriend?when did this happen when he was five years old,six?."
it happened to all of us.not you dear reader ..or you probably wouldn't be reading this.
I was not supposed to write this.
no .
I was expected to be alright with it
no not just that but respect it.
"why couldnt he be normal*..."Evan sighed
"like you.a man who volunteered to be the first intraneural interface liguist"
"
Evan had selected the wrong person to test intraneural interface upon
this one had scored no points for intuitively KNOWING without KNOWING ..which stories ( and thus which links to chose ..)
(1)
http://memphisohio.blogspot.com/2014/08/compo-cola.html
(2)
or (3)
http://mergenanobio.blogspot.com/
every thought reminded him of other thoughts.
evan decided it was personality disorder not autism .And every disorder Evan concluded known to man kind
presumably the recipient of Merge Evan was mislead to believe could be taught to think a New Way
if the New Way was introduced upon the subject
while this might have worked face to face ...
(recognizing and overcoming ..Ritualized Trauma to induce Cue system of automatic response )
no...not over coming but knowing and not knowing a the same time
for if one loses their Imprints one is no good to anyone
and anybody told they were raised on CUES
first begins undoing their reactions ...that had always puzzled them
in spite of the HZs and signal over ride to trigger these mechanisms regardless....or that's what they assumed.
they wanted to try it on me
telling me about cues and traumatic abuse to set Imprints next to see if One who understands this might still be "over riden"
but a Proxy hates their
tether underneath all the fiddling around done to their emotions and perceptions
in a way I cannot explain
it was not working on any of the subjects..those they explained their "means of upbringings and means as a mechanism to test all matter of brain study from reverse brain engineering to threshold tests to see if direct energy aimed at their skull could "get the human organism' to hurt another r...or themselves
no cues needed..
between all this one ...is lost..one stops being able to work..
I suppose I chose to write ...to keep me ...going
to at least feel that the time passing ...time no longer my own...
as I do not exist.
I am only what they "make me"
at any give n time
I want them to make me dead.
to live like this...a semi conscious guinea pig...is to live as one of Jeff Dahmer's "pets"
to live as
pinnochio..
as Frankenstein without even the autonomy to respond to warmth of a girl picking flowers ..or have compassion to a blind man..
unless
unless one's tether allows for such
but after a time
all feeling ...becomes robotic..as one knows how fleeting and how synthetic emotion is now that one's mind is one's a puzzle
who only cared about the intrusion
of the interface and not so very much about the whys and wherefors which kept changing and changing
aMentor
or an alien
and that in time a simpatico relationship of some kind would be established
evan imagined initially jimbis would be the jimmy stewart to his simulation of a 6 ft rabbit that nobody sees or hears but him
it would all be so simple
"how would you like intraneuraling someone you are trying to help who thinks of you as either a nazi,a cult leader,and now I don't even know what.”
"this IS about role playing”she said
“This isn’t role playing.it’s as if he’s tapping into some far out world.Like some strange alternate reality”Evan snapped"
“the Cell meets Joan of Arc”Sheila mused
“enough with the movie references ,Evan harped.
“to you they read like stories,you forget he’s making implications about me,about Dome”
“it isn’t all about you Evan,he does have thoughts of his own”
“but who put these ideas in his head”
“the ideas will make great games.will make great procedurals, the scarier the better.You’re doing great work”
It’s sick..some secret society going all Boys frombrazil
“he’s probably not trying to insinuate anything .Maybe he’s just thinking.
Maybe he’s just rying to figure out what the fuck is going on.What in christ’s name did you expect him to do.?He’s not 8 years old talking to lady bugs”
*{ subversives who cannot be wrongly imprisoned or could be a potential leak, people who are causing problems
specific brain frequency for each: mood, action and thought. These catalogues of excitation potentials are available from neuro-medical research specialists,
The mentor might establish early on that the individual is of great importance in the world
it's all very complicated.don't even think of going out that door.
you are with us or so much against us and we will literally drive you mad
now come here sit down and let me hold you
you were never hugged enough
I know I know
I am you and you are me
you will see how much
i don't feel good
the world is selfish with thoughts like that you must think of larger things.beyond good.beyond your individual feelings
they have ideas for intraneural interface that I did not understand until recently
-----------------------------------------------------------------2-----------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------3-------------------------------------------------------
Murals of celtic rites lined the hallways,framed parchment of anciet religious practice dominated the inner offices of Dome Enterprise .Some thought it quaint or quirky.Dome made turbines and microprocessors.They owned companies that made breakfast cereal . And now television and New Telemmersion.The New Way of seeing.and feeling
Cecil sat in a wheelchair where his big chair used to sit
his son and grandsons close to him
the rest of the shareholders and ass kissers further and further down down down .in descending order
besides Valeria head of Dome's communications department at the end of the table
,she always wore bright colors knowing that his 91 year old eyes could only focus on impact
a small red hand held button controlled a morphine drip ,next to him.
he pushed the button and again.till his nurse put her hand on his gently shaking her head "no,no more"
he liked watching them sitting around,waiting.
he knew they hated his reverie that they thought of him as nothing but an impediment to their desires to run things
.the right way
since his stroke he began carrying various totems and charms around his person including a plastic red blue and bright yellow half cat half man that used to come gratis in economy sized boxes of Dome Pine Ice Laundry Soap.he saw his son grimace with embarrassment watching the old man's knotted fingers caress the plastic figurine as if it it held magical properties
their notions of power only involved money and prestige
.not of the true source of it.when he spoke of where it came from their eyes collectively glazed over.
Cecil didn't care if they lost a tankard or a field of crops as much as he cared that without the tankard or crops
there would be one less box,or can, or neon sign with the Dome Logo on it
the golden triple helix of Dome Industry
Gary Rainy and he had spend months finding just the right colors and imagery for the logo
his sons thought him ridiculous
they didnt know that the color .that the shape .that the INTENT behind the icon ,the Waves behind the Intent were vibrational
and thus alive in the VISUAL STREAM,in the ENWAY
not like art
but like totems
familiar flags to return to from dreams
but there was no room for magic or patterns in this room where eveyone was only looking for things grounded in appearances and earthly desires
he cleared his throat in the most disgusting way he could muster.
he watched the people around the table lean forward finally satisfied that he would begin
he deliberately paused and asked his nurse in a very slow manner to please fetch him a glass of water.
and than pretended to temporarily doze off.
keeping one ear open to hear any one even dare to make a groan
2 minutes later.after hearing enough impatient chair sliding and nervous paper rustling he began
water in hand
"My ancestors were mystics...",he saw his grandson roll his eyes knowing where this was going
':Grandfather .Don't," his grandson said
Cecil ignored him,and continued with his story.knowing everyone present had heard it a thousand times over.They thought him delusional,his visions and knowing did not correspond to their notion of business.In visions he had experienced while traveling through India with Gary Rainy it even occurred to him that his blood might even have been alien in nature.he saw visions of an extraterrestrial nature quote unquote spacemen in 1957 again with Gary Rainy on the plains of Northern Greenland.Rainy helped him tap parts of his reptilian brain during the long summer nights in their private camp near Big Sur.
Cecil claimed that he had visions and was told that it was his ancestors that had decided to name all matter of plants and animals.
whether or not all this was simply hallucinary did not matter because it's the visions themselves that cause changes in the brain .the brain and it's waves and stream moving silently and invisibly through the ENWAY
he had lost track if he was speaking or thinking
he looked around the table
his 60 year old son fiddling with a little white phone not caring a whit as to what he was trying to say
more concerned about profits and soybean prices.
he saw Cecil's tinkering about with grey haired pseudo scientists in frumpy suits and dirty t shirts
as signs of his degeneration
and chastised him in front of CEOs about another 3 million thrown away on some Spider man particle accelerator
that some pot smoking former MIT drop outs were working on in gutted out warehouses .
his grandson only thought of the waste of his inheritance as more an more of Dome's funds were geared toward things that had nothing whatsoever to do with profit margins or THINGS
there was no money in what Cecil had in mind.
He had even begun to lose interest in the one thing they had all agreed concerned brain sciences AND financial gain.Intraneural communications.
there really was no mind that cecil wanted to read.
already his 91 year old mind had been audited and sequenced
besides intraneural interface which Cecil had concluded was of limited value
there were things gained from Brain Computer Interface procedure that were inconceivable had he and his constituents not have conceived them years ago
when he was young
younger and more vicious in his thinking
he imagined the future of not just intraneural communications but of something larger.staring up at the clouds out side of Stanford's neuroscience building
computers were still as big as houses but with Gary Rainy ,at that moment with talk of satellites and Sputnik it felt that people's minds were as big as castles
and it was simply a matter of one catching up to the other
Gary Rainy dreamed of systems of sociology and the restructure of society to compatible with mechanized thought
while Cecil dreamed of the days Brain Computer Interface
and the endless possibilities of both mind expansion and eventual immortality
as the clouds rolled by he decided when he reached old age he would not want his mind and it's holdings downloaded into just one person
but several people but en mass.
a whole new world
based on one person's outlook and learnings.
His.
it happened to all of us.not you dear reader ..or you probably wouldn't be reading this.
I was not supposed to write this.
no .
I was expected to be alright with it
no not just that but respect it.
"why couldnt he be normal*..."Evan sighed
"like you.a man who volunteered to be the first intraneural interface liguist"
"
Evan had selected the wrong person to test intraneural interface upon
this one had scored no points for intuitively KNOWING without KNOWING ..which stories ( and thus which links to chose ..)
(1)
http://memphisohio.blogspot.com/2014/08/compo-cola.html
(2)
or (3)
http://mergenanobio.blogspot.com/
every thought reminded him of other thoughts.
evan decided it was personality disorder not autism .And every disorder Evan concluded known to man kind
presumably the recipient of Merge Evan was mislead to believe could be taught to think a New Way
if the New Way was introduced upon the subject
while this might have worked face to face ...
(recognizing and overcoming ..Ritualized Trauma to induce Cue system of automatic response )
no...not over coming but knowing and not knowing a the same time
for if one loses their Imprints one is no good to anyone
and anybody told they were raised on CUES
first begins undoing their reactions ...that had always puzzled them
in spite of the HZs and signal over ride to trigger these mechanisms regardless....or that's what they assumed.
they wanted to try it on me
telling me about cues and traumatic abuse to set Imprints next to see if One who understands this might still be "over riden"
but a Proxy hates their
tether underneath all the fiddling around done to their emotions and perceptions
in a way I cannot explain
it was not working on any of the subjects..those they explained their "means of upbringings and means as a mechanism to test all matter of brain study from reverse brain engineering to threshold tests to see if direct energy aimed at their skull could "get the human organism' to hurt another r...or themselves
no cues needed..
between all this one ...is lost..one stops being able to work..
I suppose I chose to write ...to keep me ...going
to at least feel that the time passing ...time no longer my own...
as I do not exist.
I am only what they "make me"
at any give n time
I want them to make me dead.
to live like this...a semi conscious guinea pig...is to live as one of Jeff Dahmer's "pets"
to live as
pinnochio..
as Frankenstein without even the autonomy to respond to warmth of a girl picking flowers ..or have compassion to a blind man..
unless
unless one's tether allows for such
but after a time
all feeling ...becomes robotic..as one knows how fleeting and how synthetic emotion is now that one's mind is one's a puzzle
who only cared about the intrusion
of the interface and not so very much about the whys and wherefors which kept changing and changing
a
or an alien
and that in time a simpatico relationship of some kind would be established
evan imagined initially jimbis would be the jimmy stewart to his simulation of a 6 ft rabbit that nobody sees or hears but him
it would all be so simple
“you forget evan,it wasn’t so rudimentary, save it for someone else”Sheila said downing another beer
"how would you like intraneuraling someone you are trying to help who thinks of you as either a nazi,a cult leader,and now I don't even know what.”
"this IS about role playing”she said
“This isn’t role playing.it’s as if he’s tapping into some far out world.Like some strange alternate reality”Evan snapped"
“the Cell meets Joan of Arc”Sheila mused
“enough with the movie references ,Evan harped.
“to you they read like stories,you forget he’s making implications about me,about Dome”
“it isn’t all about you Evan,he does have thoughts of his own”
“but who put these ideas in his head”
“the ideas will make great games.will make great procedurals, the scarier the better.You’re doing great work”
It’s sick..some secret society going all Boys from
“he’s probably not trying to insinuate anything .Maybe he’s just thinking.
Maybe he’s just rying to figure out what the fuck is going on.What in christ’s name did you expect him to do.?He’s not 8 years old talking to lady bugs”
*{ subversives who cannot be wrongly imprisoned or could be a potential leak, people who are causing problems
specific brain frequency for each: mood, action and thought. These catalogues of excitation potentials are available from neuro-medical research specialists,
Particular excitation potential, is then broadcast by pulse modulated microwave transmitter. This pulse modulated microwave beam has the ELF excitation potential frequency imprinted upon it. It was found that each behavioural set in humans had a distinctive frequency. There was one for: anger, suicide, hysteria, trauma, serial killing, paranoia, lust...etc. . Intelligence community personnel destroy the target's property, ruin their financial affairs spread vicious rumour, make sexual peccadilloes public knowledge .
The victim needed to be driven mad . as agents keep a log of the victim's behaviour to see if more intense 'treatment' is needed and as a guide , are routinely driven to commit suicide. having the excitation potential for suicide beamed into resets the brain into a cycle of depression that spirals out of control ending in suicide.
Behavioural reinforcement is used in a synergistic way with the "pattern" control. It was found that the effect of the microwave beams could be greatly enhanced by external reinforcement. }
---------------------------------------------------------1--------------------------------------------------
The mentor creates a realistic New beginning for the individual
A new narrative
An endless conversation begins involving the individual’s un awareness
The mentor convinces you that that your idea of reality has been deliberately altered
And what was done to you was also done for you
He might convince you that you have special powers
He knows your story
(what did you give me .what did I take.what was in that you ask. you ask and you stop asking)
The individual sense of self is tested
One’s lineage is questioned and challenged
“I don’t think you really know who your father is.”
“your father isn’t your father.”
“
I too travel between realities.It takes one to know one he might say
Your mentor might hug you ,hold you, cry for you
For all you have been through
You are part of a sociological experiement ..Didnt you always wonder why you felt different?
I am part of the Uncle Ernie Tribe too.
you are with us or so much against us and we will literally drive you mad
now come here sit down and let me hold you
you were never hugged enough
I know I know
I am you and you are me
you will see how much
i don't feel good
the world is selfish with thoughts like that you must think of larger things.beyond good.beyond your individual feelings
they have ideas for intraneural interface that I did not understand until recently
it involves Immersives “”he says taking off his shirt .telling you to take off yours.and your shoes.Now lie down
don't think of going out that door.
do you understand
there is not that much of a difference between an Immersive and a Schizophrenic
you are an immersive
Immersives always come back
I had once thought that Immersives and Evolves were born that way
It has come to my understanding however that they were in fact crafted to become as they are
Immersives can lose themselves completely in other parts of their minds so completely
these type of children and young adults are of special interest to those in the communications field, especially concerning virtual reality
They are very useful t because they help map alternative thinking patterns that are
useful in the construction of “made up” worlds.Schizophrenics had been used in the past to create simulated “mindgrounds” but their patterns were too erratic.
You are special
He might convince you that you have special powers
He knows your story
.I am proud to be the first to know who you really are
.you are told you were born to take part in numerous tests to protect and serve
. he represents himself as official
membership to this specific “tribe”has been predetermined
He speaks of Uncle Ernie
He too had an uncle ernie
numerous tribes from Medieval times and before,through secret texts and sects through the ages had found the specific age to be 5 years old to welcome a mind into A New Way
to so devastate a growing mind so that it would be essentially bound and controlled for the rest of it’s life
(that was not done to me you say. that was not done to me you say)
what do you know
I can see
I see it
A Project called Uncle Ernie
A rite
A necessary crime ?
It was the only way to the new way
How else to craft a mind
To fine and brilliant points
It had been done since before time was recorded
It was the secret
To ceiling walking
The secret to touching the stars
Secret texts and sects through the ages had found the age of 5 to be the best
Age for one’s initial imprint
To open one’s mind to such an awakening and to brand the child to a state of full Immersion
The abuse enacted on the child is not only to cause a split of personality structure but also
Necessary to flatten affect enough that future handlers/commanders might recognize the child/man as an Immersed.
Immersives tend to grow up quite unable to take care of themselves
And must seek help from other Uncles throughout their lives
"uncles" knew
uncles sensed
They knew
A Rainy child
“had the look”
The monster under the bed and over it
These Uncles have inclinations such as the initial instigator of one’s Immersion
And the constant interaction and stimuli of the embedded trauma of abuse will instigate
A consistant need to be else where and otherworldly
That didn’t happen to me you say
It did he says
You don’t know anything
-----------------------------------------------------------------2-----------------------------------------------
Evan watched his monitor.
“fuck face is typing again. this time shit about presets and Uncle Ernie” Evan said into the phone,
“his “uncle Ernie” or PROJECT UNCLE ERNIE Cecil asked
Evan could sense the glee in his tone.As if Cecil didn’t know that just saying the word Uncle Ernie wouldn’t suddenly make him shrivel up. a and suddenly become 5 again
Remembering with shame his own “uncle”
His own “mentor”
He knew Cecil knew this
It was the point of it
It wasn’t about abuse .it was about what the abuse would trigger and do
It wasn’t only about shattering the mind just enuf for imprinting
It seemed to Evan as if it was done more for them
to have the ultimate device of belittlement. Of control
A group of Men raised Uncle Ernie Style
No one ever came right out and said it
But the summation seemed to be one either deals with it,shuts up about it or dies,either by their own hand or from others in the group who don’t want This specific Rite of passages known
Sensing what Evan was think Cecil changed his tone ,"It is sacred,it’s all beginning right now.The New Way,Intraneural interface,a new world.just for us and this little fucker wants to ruin it."
“I am not whole”Evan found himself saying
“oh good god what are you a fucking pussy now?who wants to be whole?the entire reason the entire point is be MORE..a whole thing is ONE thing
a divided thing is many things
a divided thing is many things
“a broken thing you mean”
“I can’t believe I am hearing this from you.I cant believe you’re this much of a little wuss.
“what’s wrong Evan,do you smell baby powder?”
Evan hung up the phone imagining Cecil’s sick grin
He should go ahead and let Jayson write
Jayson was a turncoat
A traitor to the cause weather Evan understood or liked the cause
The cause paid his bills
All his friends were Uncle Ernied
Presumably it was to make them
Fearless
And cold and ruff and ready
To make them
Sparkling chips of splintered diamonds.
Now having not just one personality or soul or sensibility but hundreds of ways to perception
Hundreds more ways of seeing and hearing and feeling
Maybe one day it would be easier
maybe one day they could enact the same initial splintering witout an UncleErnie
maybe one day they could enact the same initial splintering witout an UncleErnie
maybe one day it could just be a neural upload to make them Immersive
Baby powder.
Evan smiled
Yeah all the “uncles” knew
It was like a ritual
A hazing
That’s how he had to think of it
If he wanted to think at all
And here was fuck face
Fucking JAYSON bringing it all up again
Doming was too good for the son of a bitch!
--------------------------------------------------------3-------------------------------------------------------
Murals of celtic rites lined the hallways,framed parchment of anciet religious practice dominated the inner offices of Dome Enterprise .Some thought it quaint or quirky.Dome made turbines and microprocessors.They owned companies that made breakfast cereal . And now television and New Telemmersion.The New Way of seeing.and feeling
Cecil sat in a wheelchair where his big chair used to sit
his son and grandsons close to him
the rest of the shareholders and ass kissers further and further down down down .in descending order
besides Valeria head of Dome's communications department at the end of the table
,she always wore bright colors knowing that his 91 year old eyes could only focus on impact
a small red hand held button controlled a morphine drip ,next to him.
he pushed the button and again.till his nurse put her hand on his gently shaking her head "no,no more"
he liked watching them sitting around,waiting.
he knew they hated his reverie that they thought of him as nothing but an impediment to their desires to run things
.the right way
since his stroke he began carrying various totems and charms around his person including a plastic red blue and bright yellow half cat half man that used to come gratis in economy sized boxes of Dome Pine Ice Laundry Soap.he saw his son grimace with embarrassment watching the old man's knotted fingers caress the plastic figurine as if it it held magical properties
his son did not know that there was indeed magic before intraneural interface
brain computer interface or quantum mechanics
that there were real consequences to this new communication that wasn't just another app
that this virtual reality presumably so new . was developed and up and running
by whom
he didn't know
but according to his dreams and recently his waking state
it had been that way since Adam and Eve
who's to say the burning bush wasn't a hologram
oh how he wished Gary rainy was still alive to talk of such things without feeling like a god damn fool
their notions of power only involved money and prestige
.not of the true source of it.when he spoke of where it came from their eyes collectively glazed over.
Cecil didn't care if they lost a tankard or a field of crops as much as he cared that without the tankard or crops
there would be one less box,or can, or neon sign with the Dome Logo on it
the golden triple helix of Dome Industry
Gary Rainy and he had spend months finding just the right colors and imagery for the logo
his sons thought him ridiculous
they didnt know that the color .that the shape .that the INTENT behind the icon ,the Waves behind the Intent were vibrational
and thus alive in the VISUAL STREAM,in the ENWAY
not like art
but like totems
familiar flags to return to from dreams
but there was no room for magic or patterns in this room where eveyone was only looking for things grounded in appearances and earthly desires
they had gone the same places up there.in an/ on the same day the same "trip" in 1971 with four other "urban astronauts"
they met the same forces
he cleared his throat in the most disgusting way he could muster.
he watched the people around the table lean forward finally satisfied that he would begin
he deliberately paused and asked his nurse in a very slow manner to please fetch him a glass of water.
and than pretended to temporarily doze off.
keeping one ear open to hear any one even dare to make a groan
2 minutes later.after hearing enough impatient chair sliding and nervous paper rustling he began
water in hand
"My ancestors were mystics...",he saw his grandson roll his eyes knowing where this was going
':Grandfather .Don't," his grandson said
Cecil ignored him,and continued with his story.knowing everyone present had heard it a thousand times over.They thought him delusional,his visions and knowing did not correspond to their notion of business.In visions he had experienced while traveling through India with Gary Rainy it even occurred to him that his blood might even have been alien in nature.he saw visions of an extraterrestrial nature quote unquote spacemen in 1957 again with Gary Rainy on the plains of Northern Greenland.Rainy helped him tap parts of his reptilian brain during the long summer nights in their private camp near Big Sur.
Cecil claimed that he had visions and was told that it was his ancestors that had decided to name all matter of plants and animals.
whether or not all this was simply hallucinary did not matter because it's the visions themselves that cause changes in the brain .the brain and it's waves and stream moving silently and invisibly through the ENWAY
he had lost track if he was speaking or thinking
he looked around the table
his 60 year old son fiddling with a little white phone not caring a whit as to what he was trying to say
more concerned about profits and soybean prices.
he saw Cecil's tinkering about with grey haired pseudo scientists in frumpy suits and dirty t shirts
as signs of his degeneration
and chastised him in front of CEOs about another 3 million thrown away on some Spider man particle accelerator
that some pot smoking former MIT drop outs were working on in gutted out warehouses .
his grandson only thought of the waste of his inheritance as more an more of Dome's funds were geared toward things that had nothing whatsoever to do with profit margins or THINGS
there was no money in what Cecil had in mind.
He had even begun to lose interest in the one thing they had all agreed concerned brain sciences AND financial gain.Intraneural communications.
there really was no mind that cecil wanted to read.
already his 91 year old mind had been audited and sequenced
besides intraneural interface which Cecil had concluded was of limited value
there were things gained from Brain Computer Interface procedure that were inconceivable had he and his constituents not have conceived them years ago
when he was young
younger and more vicious in his thinking
he imagined the future of not just intraneural communications but of something larger.staring up at the clouds out side of Stanford's neuroscience building
computers were still as big as houses but with Gary Rainy ,at that moment with talk of satellites and Sputnik it felt that people's minds were as big as castles
and it was simply a matter of one catching up to the other
Gary Rainy dreamed of systems of sociology and the restructure of society to compatible with mechanized thought
while Cecil dreamed of the days Brain Computer Interface
and the endless possibilities of both mind expansion and eventual immortality
as the clouds rolled by he decided when he reached old age he would not want his mind and it's holdings downloaded into just one person
but several people but en mass.
a whole new world
based on one person's outlook and learnings.
His.
