"
 it would have seemed to phony to try to scream  the type of  screams
 he only heard on TV or movies
which would have suited his present state of mind
 on the balcony
.summoning up the nerve to jump.
 the attempts at  finding an example  of a 10th story pre suicide leap scream
conjured up
 an establishing shot of the  building

incidental music

A LONG SHOT
followed by a CLOSE UP of the jumper
.THAN a high pitched scream
FOLLOWED by
ANOTHER VIEW OF THE BUILDING
...and possibly another CLOSE UP on the jumper
so much was going on between the log shots ,the building,the visualization of Adam seeing himself in this scenario,while all the while trying to hear  and next mimick the voice of the screamer.and as most screaming suicides from tall buildings on tv were of woman.it took a very long time reversing the imagery to find another signifier of "scream" this time a man screeming.Having to picture a new television episode .another establishing shot of a building ...
and
somehow   jumping had
begun to seem like tv as well


it was the stuff of comic books.
bad comic books at that
too silly to be scary
yet too biologically possible (he had read of nano techniques albiet while wincing,that in fact it could be done)to not be gross.

Gross did not begin to describe the feeling .Or the sight of his face in the mirror on the days
he was not in form with The Process..Or permissive with Aki

"be quick about it,or at least close the screen" aki said.as if reading his mind


Adam turning around,touching his face ,a new  habit,


.It was beyond belief.He had begun  calling it morphing.As if he was some kind of Adobe Photoshop program.On the days he was not too hideous to leave the apartment for some days his face  was so disfigured by whatever remote means that some person had actually dreamed up. to do research.Because whether or not he saw it or felt it .it was simply too beyond belief to absorb.Or be true. He would spend hours leafing through medical textbooks concerned with diseases or injuries to the human face,be it the nerves,or the muscular tissue or the underlying bone.But it didn't make sense.Not for the alterations to go back and forth.

but he had known that.
he had seen Aki over him in the bathroom pushing buttons.
Knowing.
it was easier however to keep combing through textbooks then to really consider
.To consider what?
That some maniac
had  somehow integrated nano bots that caused disfigurement or beauty inside him
that someone now "owned" his face.
that his appearance was now a  reign?



"would you like a drink?" Aki asked,smiling

"actually I'd like some heroin,some opium ..."Adam said, anything to not hear your goddamn voice"

 

"i can make some calls"Aki said picking up his phone and dialing,"I'm glad you're beginning to adjust,Now come in from that balcony we can't have handsome all chapped .."

Adam stamped into the bathroom .
and stood in front of the mirror.His face was beautiful.His and not his at the same time.
"The gods must be happy with you Adam " Aki said."there are rewards ,to just rolling with it"

Aki  put his hands on Adam's shoulder
.While brushed it off Adam felt the microscopic  bots rearrange themselves under his skin,he placed Aki's hand back on his shoulder, the nano bots seemed to retreat taking a chance ,he looked again in the mirror.Relief

"the stuff  you asked about will be here soon,why don't I warm us up a nice bath...how about tomorrow you go out by yourself,find someone your own age,whatever you want..maybe we can just see each other every coupla days..I can find you a  nice apartment."