my thoughts elsewhere.
a dreamy eyed look.my friends have gotten used to it.

it's funny.i was never a good listener.
perhaps this intraneural is the first time in my life
i have ever been
so entranced by another
never mind I am terrified by my unseen captor most of the time
for i know in spite of my familiarity with his methodology  I am always swept away
by his overlays

i have been with boyfriends in the past who were violent
for some reason thats the type i'd go for.
but EVAN is trying to get rid of
the boyfriend stuff
the homo stuff
by offering me a piece of his mind
"I have always had a thing for Jessica Lange"He had graphed
"I have always had a thing for blondes with chiseled features"
not just pretty women but handsome women..women you can imagine homesteading with,riding miles through snow and hardtimes in a covered wagon..

all last night he has tried to make me visualize myself with a 1983 jessica lange type
riding through some prarie.
I can't do it though
the prarie he has set before me is too open and boring
and to fill it I picture skyscrapers in the backround.
and I am younger in the dreams or whatever he calls these exercises in virtuosity
and jessica lange or whom his version of Jessica Lange seems both wooden and ...

OK .let's try someone else.
I can tell he is trying to be patient
and can tell I was at least trying
..he doesnt use Muralists anymore because
I can't help but share our  so called private "talks"when others are on headset.
he says i do it deliberately
and i have lost him billions

he says I know what i am doing
that if I tried I could focus my thoughts to the "subject" at hand.
this
atrocity they call Virtual Mindscaping Imagery

and this is the fun part.
he said he will spend the rest of his natural life

tormenting me withg transmissions

as

i had deliberately embarrassed him "in front" of "some moneybag" from Proctor and Gamble last summer
who came all the way out from Atlanta to see how Intraneural works
and to see if a specific redesigned logo "presented" without :looming"in the new language of Direct Neural
Proctor on one headset.
EVAN on the other
when EVAN is nervous ,I get nervous.and sometimes when i get nervous i can't stop talking.
it's the same with intraneural
so this flood.
of
"graphing"comes pouring out of me

 mainly EVAN's previous GRAPHS

the way i daydream about having a good steak or going on vacation
EVAN
dreams of  New Ways,and new laws
mainly Laws against "people " or "non people" like me ,who he knows thanks to Direct NeuraL iNTERFACE
 INSIDE and OUT

how I represent "the Welfare Sate"
and everything wrong with Empathy for Unfortunates
how in a Better World..people like me wouldn't have even been alive
that
Basic Eugenics...
which he renamed TruGenics
will be used in consort with intraneural interface
to make sure
THIS TIME nobody "hands out Free Lunches,which only lead to the wrong people propogating.."

like how the "Hot States"like California arizona nevada and shit will be for the wealthy
and "the shit states" like alabama will be for scum like me
until a Real Solution is not only found but Fostered By The New Times