jimbloom small life video and wallhangings

this doesn't really work for us you either staying inside and writing about it or drawing pictures Evan graphs

nor does it work me being a 44 prostitute or being a bum on the streets or living in those fucking shelters YOU all found so bohemian or something.I think/I graph,there is no holding anything back,not the stray thoughts that the real reason they wanted me in such a position was to as usual cover everything up but in fact it is also that they like some kind of scenic postcard view of the sordid life as if they were vicariously slumming,but it is me who wakes up with the scabies,or goes to jail or gets robbed or beat up

that's entertainment little brother

there is a way out you know

thank God I think

Thank God we are over the when you don't expect it

we will just ...those Harlan Coban scenarios about not just hurting or killing but getting some type of read in the style of endless torture (to make up for "the pain and torment"I caused them intraneurally,now the dreams have started,without drugs street or prescribed I can barely deal with this reality and they know it

Not easy being Tv is it scumbag.

a change of shift,"he's been writing again"the equivalent of wait till your father gets home,although how or why I am supposed to keep quiet about being "part of this" makes no sense"it seems as if there would be something wrong with me hiding this situation..I can barely pretend I roll Over as quick as I did to the "gallows humor"and I've seen how they can make the visuals either scary or logo-esque,to them I am personal,my being "clear" meant only that I'd be less self referential and more malleble to their sight and sound.at first the sight was exciting,but now I realize it's all a test.all priliminary.it leads nowhere.they might as well have been testing eye shadow on a monkey,"stories "aside I am nothing to them but a monkey,my sense of humor has been lost to a perpetual trance..i am ..I not here I fear institutionalization .It is a joke I will be believed or in any way credited or compensated for this un-godly intrusion.My mind lately turns to rage and a desire to somehow make sure they get what they deserve for their part in this.I hate them in a way i cannot describe.The feeling is mutual and they forget they were never invited.They can't leave ,that i understand,tghey own the Process and whatever shit they junked me up with on August 18th 2011..amazing how far they've come BCI wise since our first jaunt in 94"

stop writing about it,stop talking about it and we'll work it out.OK.Ok?

this was a tough day at the office that's all,you hear me Jim?A tough couple of months and a tough day at the office,that's all,that's all