you have found out your 17 year old son with high functioning autism has run away
you cant say you were really proud of him
he was not a typical son was he.
at times he seemed emotion less.
often scattered ,more often than not almost beligerant,at not being understood.
he had made it through high school by the skin of his teeth.
he disappeared.
there is a side to your self that is glad.
you were secretly ashamed of him
you and your husband think he might have gone west .
to maybe visit with a fellow gamer
he spent hours sometimes playing games on the computer.
it was his connection to others.
it was non verbal
you dont call the police.
there is an awful part of yourself that doesnt want him to move back
a few months ago you visited your son at a mental hospital
he spoke of people who experimented on him
played with him
did things to him
to his brain
to his eyes.
to his ears
he says they have made him into something
and they won't stop
your son moves back
he is broken.
he had difficulties before
but not like this.
you wish he would go away again.
he talks in riddles about how his senses were changed.
you can't help but ask him for proof or at least details
he can't explain it.and when he tries he gets lost
or afraid.
you have no choice but to put him away
he is given so many drugs that he no longer talks about it
you hope he is kept there a long time
you don't know that he was spotted at a diner
by those that has been taught to seek a type out
a type something like your son actually
a type that seems "game"
a type that won't be missed or moreso believed.
an easy target
and yes this is true
his symptoms are of aural and visual hallucinations
"ahhh "the doctors say,quite easy to treat"
his symptoms however are
not symptoms at all
but success.
"it works"someone is saying
"it works" someone is saying
and not your poor son who has been worked on
and worked over
"it works""someone is saying,
********************************************
Look where you left him
And look where he was off to next
Jacob was released with 20 dollars and off he went
Into the streets only to be taken in
By Arthur
I will give you lodging if I can do this that and the other
to you
Jacob had little choice and there he stayed
Having this that and done to him
His mother sometimes called Arthur.
Is my boy alright
yes Arthur says “he is alright indeed”he says licking his chompy chomps.
This made Jacobs mother happy
for she did like
Jacob being so much enjoyed
Having little else to do and to keep what was left of his mind busy
Jacob began drawing on the wallpaper in the dreaded room he shared with Arthur
They were not very good drawings.
Most done with markers and crayons
It was a small room.
When Arthur was off at work Jacob would scribble and scream.
He was not locked in mind you but Jacob after all this
twisty twine done on his poor noggin by the powers that be
and the shlocktors in the hospital there was not much out
and about left in poor Jacob
There were just too many bits missing
Arthur didn’t want the neighbors to see how he treated Jacob
alone,
The blinds were always pulled tight down
For he had built up such sunny sunshine greetings with the
towns people
Oh Jacob is just fine fine fine he would say.what a dear to
live with(chomp,chomp)
“how nice you are taking care of the dim fellow “the
neighbors would smile
One day after a fight of Jacob not wanting no Arthur fiddle
abouts
He was tossed into the blind ,and one of the blinds fell
bust up on the floor.
Arthur didn’t notice and Jacob thought ,let them see,if they
wish what really goes on here.
Let them see Arthur chimping and chomping him when he didn’t
want none of it.
Slowly and quickly at the same time Jacob went madder and
madder drawing more and more on the wallpaper
He so wanted the man who lived across from the window to
look through and see
Maybe that man could take Jacob in without the chomping
The wallpaper was replaced time and again
But Jacob would always end up writing and drawing on it
Every line was a scream
I can take no more of this Arthur yelled after replacing the
wallpaper for the 7th time
Besides you have grown fatter and older
I shall send you to Ben’s house.
If you think I chomp and dink at you too much HA are you in
for a surprise how kind I have been
And out Jacob went.
To ben
To Herman to wayne
Drawing all their nasty faces and places all over the walls
As the years went by besides growing madder Jacob also
became cruel
He could not hide his cruelty and contempt of the men who
took care of him no more
And with this came crueler men who liked his bitterness
He was not young
or handsome
Just mad as a bed bug
He had nothing to take
Only a sneer that had wedged itself plainly on his nasty
nasty face
His job it seemed
was to be as bitter
and cruel as the years had been to him
to grunt and grimace and curse and cain
anything to make the men feel happy
that they were not so grim
that they were not so bitter
he was like some type of tv show where the viewer would look away and look back
“oh my Jacob look at the horrible man,thank god I am not him”
But Jacob was him
And it seemed somehow plain that that was the only reason he
was allowed to stay,or be fed
if ever Jacob let his guard down and a beam of kindness or
composure leaked out
the men got angry
his mother would call the man everynow and than
“how is little Jacob?”
“Oh you know Jacob.mean,sad and angry “the man would smile
Is he still drawing on the wallpaper?”his mother would ask
“not so much ,not so much,"the man would say
“thank goodness”,his mom would say
“our boy is growing up,” the man would giggle.
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