A Fish Called Calev

at the Dr's.
i have to go.
i have no choice
he records things now.
on a tape recorder..and sometimes video tape.as if I am some kind of criminal all of sudden.

5/17/ 201*

he talks all gentle..all non threatening.all fake,like I had been told these Dr's are taught ,every little thing they do is calculated to make you trust them and just "say anything",their job is to make you feel some false sense  of comfort.sometimes it works.
this time he gave me the tape.
he told me to listen to it
and see if I hear what he hears.
he says maybe I should try typing it
or writing it to get a "new perspective" on the "situation"instead of being "lead" like some dog on a collar this way and that by "mentors" who he insists seem to be leading  and weaving "the semi fictional "story" for their own means  and ends
and perhaps my own




This group you write about doesn't seem to like you very much do they?the Dr. says

They don't like me for good reason.They are trying to help me.

Help you with what?

Help me not be sick

And just how "are you sick?"

I think wrong.
For instance ,I think about my body too much.

And that's a specific problem for them.That's curious don't you think? I mean ,I think about my body.After all I must live in my body..

It's important not to think about it,it fucks things up

For them or for you.

Them telling me not to think about it made it into,like a complex,and than a complex becomes like an obsessional thinking,it was an obvious mistake  on their part..

What else aren't you supposed to think about?

I'm not supposed to read or read labels or try to confuse them by having an Ipod or listening to songs or thinking about my past or future or self .Or money problems or problems in general.Nothing really that is not about Intention or Automatic Thoughts or Reactions to various stimuli around me in present time


And you can do that?

No,not very well,at all

So,it's like some extraterrestrial or something came down to earth to get a look around and uses your brain ,eyes and ears as a vehicle ..the way THEY are teaching you to think

Sort of,yes

And when you make the mistake ,for instance, of thinking about your own needs,you are interfering
with some kind of sight seeing tour

It's not working out ...They are trying to empty me out a little of interference,so i can be more Open Minded to the New Way

Sounds like THEY don't want you to have a mind at all,that your consciousness is getting in the way of The New Way.That "this New Way'"s  agenda seems to be about making you into some kind of rag doll or puppet.What are you allowed to think? Or do ?

They don't mind my walking,so long as i don't concentrate on minutia or throw them off with reminiscence or unfocused observation,they don't mind also if I watch TV ,so long as I don't react to it in a self referential way but a universal way,like I can't or shouldn't compare my own life to the plot lines or characters..

I would like you to consider something for me.I'd like you to get a body scan.I 've already spoken to someone about it being pro bono,and this is quite an expensive test..I and some others need to SEE if there's something to this.Do you understand ?To see if these "inserts" you have mentioned are detectable.If there really is something "in you"

No way.Absolutely not.

So you like the feeling of being used and owned,I'm surprised ,very surprised.

I am not explaining it right.Obviously,I am being helped.I am being mentored,there's a certain trust that's been established...

What did they do when you tried killing yourslef to get away from them?when you popped 40 vicdin?Did your mentors say "no .Stop"

Neuronautics  is about free will,not control

So when you began crushing up the pills and pouring them into grape juice nobody from this Mentorship program removed their headsets or "graphed" stop the game...or came banging on your door to "re-educate" you that this was not a good idea

 seemed like a good idea at the time  I do not blame mentor ship for my shortcomings

when you were homeless ,when you lost your apartment due to the stress and rage at the endless interfacing did THEY reimburse you? Or put money up for a new place?Or pay subsequent legal bills?

No

They just fuck with your head.Why you can't even watch television without these mentors using what you see and hear to use as another "rundown" or lesson ...

They are trying something new,do you think this is easy for them?For instance some of them don't like the "gay thing"

How sad for them

Some don't mind at all

Well isn't that good news,that some of the mentors that dosed you with illegal  nano don't mind your sexual preference.

can I get a refilled on my script?

Not until you agree to a scan

I don't want to get them into trouble.Besides they have their people in those places.

Yes Neuronautics does seem to "get around" This group that is saving you and has begun allegedly putting cues in television programs and has a system of child rearing to correspond to these cues..Whose idea of social and spiritual progress is having mentors monitor or correct the Collective mind of it's captured,entranced "followers" whether they like it or not.A group that has supposedly interfaced several of it's devotees off bridges into subway trains and Christ knows what else...and that's who you're protecting.Do you hear yourself?Do you?

Don't question my beliefs and I won't question psychiatry.they were right about you guys.About this. I am at least open minded enough to appreciate the trouble my mentors are taking dealing with my case

Your case?

They work 24 hours a day monitoring my thoughts on their own dime,trying to make sure I don't regress into Old Way thinking.If i am failing it is my fault ,not theirs. it was my fault coming here. For Pussing out about getting my come uppence.You don't know my inner thoughts Dr. you neither have the equipment or expertise for it...You don't know what Enrot I am putting out not only towards my mentors headsets and minds but into the Enway itself..
you don't even know what seeing the Rhino means
you don't know anything
you are an unresolvable ruiner.
all psychiatrists are.all Drs. are.all teachers are.
and your day will come.
cuz our time is now.
a scan...
it's not about the technology idiot...it's aout not being afraid of being read.
it's about trusting one's mentors
 and the process.
if one jumps in front of a trolley car to stop the process...that's a hell of alot more dignity and RESPECT than running off to some scanning center,I'll  tell you that much

Fuck you very much Dr.and fuck your pills,hello, i must be going but you wouldn't know what THAT means would you,not what it REALLY means.Ever





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