{i have failed miserably.every move i have ever made has been
out of fear
out of stubborness
out of compulsion
out of shame
i have kept up a recording of my failures
as a human being
look how i have written about my fellow man
my excuse is my humaness
and The Style of The Times,}
I am on my knees.In a hotel.
I am crying.I am afraid.I cannot find God.My hands are folded on the bed.
I am not really praying .I am Pleading.
this too is the style of the times
this must be what a schizophrenic feels like.this must be why they are disorganized,fearful and screaming.
I have let myself go
as might you
if Proxy knew ,sensed and read your every thought,memory and "feelings"
this is the world to come
__ a sermon comes to mind.(or more so what is left of my being able to think several things at the same time)___Can't you see how casually how quickly cameras were put up EVERYWHERE.how quickly everyone's information has been gathered.and how we have
gone along.
"stop stop .It sounds like an Op Ed piece:"evan graphs,dismissive and mean,"get up off your knees.pull yourself together.if you keep acting like this you will be hospitalized"
I get up.
Some moments i feel alone.I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
i try not to think of ANYTHING.
I brush.
i think.
i wish my thoughts towards other people were more caring.more kind.more something
especially because my thoughts are essntially being broadcast through Proxy Telex
how can one not wish one were
more Proxagenic?More Good
I wish they would just take me over completely
BUT IT IS RIGHT
ONE CANNOT LIE OR THINK DISHONESTLY WITH A PROX ON THE BRAIN
Proxy not only reads the neural output
but also the Measure and "truth" of the Prox Wave
The Dactologists ,who have assimilated with Proxy
call it the Brack Meter
It is Good to know
that while I feel I am being Destroyed(debrackified)
that i am also being Cured
"you had better not being saying this outloud" evan graphs.he has suggested i begin chewing gum .so nobody can read my lips when I sometimes move my mouth to the interface
Things have fallen apart
I am driven beyond distraction
BecAUSE of proxy I go into rages that nobody understands
I have lost or thrown out all that i have
I now find that i rely solely on Evan Or Proxy for guidance
they have told me I must now eat only soft food.
puddings.yogurt
because my chewing disgusts them
I have begun having dreams
dreams that proxy Corp
and this interneural interface is not just technology
not the barium filaments that MDS(mastcative delivery system)a nice word for amounts to mites or other small insects essentially spitting upsaid metallic pinhole sized "plasma bubbles:that when increased by thousands form"combs" or nano "stations" that eventually(3 to 4 weeks)form networks that eventually serve as processors
"we told you THAT IDIOT!so YOU would BE DUMB ENOUGH to tell that to a shrink!,: Evan Graphs and than giggles"THaN they would lock you up and throw away the key"
{there's something in his anger and his giggle that gives me pause.Interneural goes both ways .}
from teeth brushing.to shaving
I am hesitant to clean my ears
the use of a Q-tips etc and interneural can often have severe ramifications
but it is also the only time i can often piece together the odd bits of relevant information.
Serious grooming and one's toilet concerns are often the Only Time
One's Mind is one's Own////////
I have begun having dreams
dreams that proxy Corp
and this interneural interface is not just technology
not just barium filaments...A new set of Bed Time Stories.Proxy is going deeper into my subconscious.My Primal fears.
Magic.
witchcraft.
........................................alien life forms
Now,the cybernetic processed has been all but dashed
the jist moves from Industry to Superstition
no jimbis this isnt about nano barium condensor conductuates aSShole!
but divine in it's nature.I am not sure if this is because as i have seen on the news because Proxy's CEO has announced he is a practicing Dactologist or because they have run out of fresh muralists to program and prox my dreams
and nightmares.
I am finished cleaning my ears.i must go further.I must keep Evan at bay
I grab my Norelco and graph intentionally that "some manscaping is neccessary"
"oh no you don't" Evan graphs.and suddenly my left arm seizes with pain.A NEW APP .Pain
"installed"by mite mastigations and barium micro pellets
I had been instructed that the introduction of Pain Threshold Techniques in the holding cell at the van nuys jail.
Pain Threshold
for The new World Man.(i cant believe such terms as new world man or New frontier actaully meant anything.ever)
I turn on the razor.and Evan tunes out
I use the opportunity to think of a new "sermon: or a rotten NEW thing to write directly online.something that helps him "destroy me"
if anything
goes wrong.
like a
breach
or something.
to give myself more time.
to keep proxy off my back i further repulse Evan by singing showtunes all the while trimming away..the short hairs.
by the 3rd verse of "i feel pretty" the taunts of Evan graphing "i am the most disgusting man on the face of the earth" are intense enuf to gush enuf adrenaline thru my system to actually get me through another day of this
out of fear
out of stubborness
out of compulsion
out of shame
i have kept up a recording of my failures
as a human being
look how i have written about my fellow man
my excuse is my humaness
and The Style of The Times,}
I am on my knees.In a hotel.
I am crying.I am afraid.I cannot find God.My hands are folded on the bed.
I am not really praying .I am Pleading.
this too is the style of the times
this must be what a schizophrenic feels like.this must be why they are disorganized,fearful and screaming.
I have let myself go
as might you
if Proxy knew ,sensed and read your every thought,memory and "feelings"
this is the world to come
__ a sermon comes to mind.(or more so what is left of my being able to think several things at the same time)___Can't you see how casually how quickly cameras were put up EVERYWHERE.how quickly everyone's information has been gathered.and how we have
gone along.
"stop stop .It sounds like an Op Ed piece:"evan graphs,dismissive and mean,"get up off your knees.pull yourself together.if you keep acting like this you will be hospitalized"
I get up.
Some moments i feel alone.I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
i try not to think of ANYTHING.
I brush.
i think.
i wish my thoughts towards other people were more caring.more kind.more something
especially because my thoughts are essntially being broadcast through Proxy Telex
how can one not wish one were
more Proxagenic?More Good
I wish they would just take me over completely
BUT IT IS RIGHT
ONE CANNOT LIE OR THINK DISHONESTLY WITH A PROX ON THE BRAIN
Proxy not only reads the neural output
but also the Measure and "truth" of the Prox Wave
The Dactologists ,who have assimilated with Proxy
call it the Brack Meter
It is Good to know
that while I feel I am being Destroyed(debrackified)
that i am also being Cured
"you had better not being saying this outloud" evan graphs.he has suggested i begin chewing gum .so nobody can read my lips when I sometimes move my mouth to the interface
I am driven beyond distraction
BecAUSE of proxy I go into rages that nobody understands
I have lost or thrown out all that i have
I now find that i rely solely on Evan Or Proxy for guidance
they have told me I must now eat only soft food.
puddings.yogurt
because my chewing disgusts them
dreams that proxy Corp
and this interneural interface is not just technology
not the barium filaments that MDS(mastcative delivery system)a nice word for amounts to mites or other small insects essentially spitting upsaid metallic pinhole sized "plasma bubbles:that when increased by thousands form"combs" or nano "stations" that eventually(3 to 4 weeks)form networks that eventually serve as processors
"we told you THAT IDIOT!so YOU would BE DUMB ENOUGH to tell that to a shrink!,: Evan Graphs and than giggles"THaN they would lock you up and throw away the key"
{there's something in his anger and his giggle that gives me pause.Interneural goes both ways .}
from teeth brushing.to shaving
I am hesitant to clean my ears
the use of a Q-tips etc and interneural can often have severe ramifications
but it is also the only time i can often piece together the odd bits of relevant information.
Serious grooming and one's toilet concerns are often the Only Time
One's Mind is one's Own////////
I have begun having dreams
dreams that proxy Corp
and this interneural interface is not just technology
not just barium filaments...A new set of Bed Time Stories.Proxy is going deeper into my subconscious.My Primal fears.
Magic.
witchcraft.
........................................alien life forms
Now,the cybernetic processed has been all but dashed
the jist moves from Industry to Superstition
no jimbis this isnt about nano barium condensor conductuates aSShole!
but divine in it's nature.I am not sure if this is because as i have seen on the news because Proxy's CEO has announced he is a practicing Dactologist or because they have run out of fresh muralists to program and prox my dreams
and nightmares.
I am finished cleaning my ears.i must go further.I must keep Evan at bay
I grab my Norelco and graph intentionally that "some manscaping is neccessary"
"oh no you don't" Evan graphs.and suddenly my left arm seizes with pain.A NEW APP .Pain
"installed"by mite mastigations and barium micro pellets
I had been instructed that the introduction of Pain Threshold Techniques in the holding cell at the van nuys jail.
Pain Threshold
for The new World Man.(i cant believe such terms as new world man or New frontier actaully meant anything.ever)
I turn on the razor.and Evan tunes out
I use the opportunity to think of a new "sermon: or a rotten NEW thing to write directly online.something that helps him "destroy me"
if anything
goes wrong.
like a
breach
or something.
to give myself more time.
to keep proxy off my back i further repulse Evan by singing showtunes all the while trimming away..the short hairs.
by the 3rd verse of "i feel pretty" the taunts of Evan graphing "i am the most disgusting man on the face of the earth" are intense enuf to gush enuf adrenaline thru my system to actually get me through another day of this
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