smll potatos and BIG budget films

2011

my 3rd step father's voice would get very high when he talked to me.

as if just the very act of talking to his foster son caused some kind of conversion in him

that even effected his very use of language.He always seemed both amused and angry speaking to me

.and there was always a quick tag line ready in case he perceived me perhaps wanting anything from him."I gotta go we were on our way to .."

i havent wanted anything from him in years. nor my second foster father...all of them in the Movement of Neuronautics.

all of them raising on Referentials and the words of Gary Rainy..

.no regular conversations except about Emmiting

and how I was Eminating my brain signals ..my Apparents into the atmosphere..

he and they always said they could tell..without my saying a word that I was in Low Tone..

The way I was brought up words didn't matter just one's Tone..

and that Tones were read by the atmosphere and ...Only Gary Rainy knew how one could be in High Tone enough to actually receive ..

feedback from the Neural Highway

if anything happened at home when i was growing up...even if for instance a chair grazed the linoleum too loud it was ME causing dissonance in the electromagnetic atmosphere..

we had See Meters in all the downstairs rooms which I would be hitched to to prove I was thinking bad admit the wrong thoughts I was thinking about not just "the family" but the 'Neuronautics" ..

when I said when I grew older "I have other things to think about than Gary Rainy .." I'd be smacked.

and brought to the annex to be dealt with ...and have to do endless chores at the annex to pay for Re Entry courses

see how you act ..see what you do? thIS is why people can't talk to you...because THIS is not about the lies that one says but the truth in one's mind

anything you say cannot be believed because the see meter and your mentors feel and know ...you are projected bad attenuations to the Enway,the Neural Highway ..and others..

while it was OK to project "bad thought" at or toward those Ruiners not in Neuronautics...it was not ok to project my so called "bad ness' at those who raised me who only believed in Gary Rainy ..and thought not one one did which was taken as ...a lie to hide thought ESPECIALLY if you "acted nice" ...because ...according to Gary Rainy people who smile dtoo much or were polite ..or friendly were usually out to get something or cover up their true thoughts which were the opposite

OR according to Gary Rainy "why the big PUT ON" to ACT nice?

"What are you doing in L.A> when they told you specifically NOT to be there until you stopped drawing or painting like that.?

They can see you know the abbarent behavior

in your postings

toward the Enway...towards those whose job it was to raise someone not even their real child..

it's amusing how you reject Neuronautics when without the group you would have been in an orphanage..

"I was in an orphanage...you think you raised me as your own..I would have been better off in an orphanage

ive always seen him and all my foster parents in the Neuronautics way ..that THEY were better than me and in my way which was and they think is wrong not better than them so much as not like them\

since I was 2 months old I was raised in Neuronautics and passed along to family after family in the group because there was something NO RIGHT in me according to them..

they hate everyone outside the Group and everyone INSIDE who doesn't FIT what a Neuronaut should be according to Gary Rainy

always they are way more "good"than they actually are..

it seemed.

my 3rd foster dad has a mean streak as wide as my own

he and often lets it dangle for my benefit,, his crassness usually reserved for Ruiners who aren't Neuronauts ..he saves for me

whats odd is i used to think very well ..because for a while in jr high for some reason

I thought ok according to my Mentors at the annex and

believed fully in Gary Rainy

but than my birthmother rshowed up..and mentioned I was a jew..and than it all changed..not for me..but the way they treated me..

i am in sherman oaks
a small overpriced apt
a friend of mine"in the industry"
helped me relocate

HE KNOWS people
in publishing
in "the biz"
also knows s-s-s-erious art collectors
(not dis small POT-ATO(e) jive .like back EAST...small potatoes ...the woman said..and I began thinking .."Hey I don't want no small potatoes.."why are people giving me small potatoes? I began thinking than
because ..the subject of potato size was brought up...
previously the size of my potatoes fill-ed me up just fine fine fine..
but not when one is given a new set of eyes ..THAT KNOW the size of things...potato wise....)
Interior decorator types.
deeeesigners
"just don't call it Outsider art,he said,"that's so 2003)

wella wella wella.
How Could I reeeeesist?
and off I flew

to TV Land

 

little did I know

it was for More Tests of the

Emergen SEE Broadcast Petwirks

 

little did I know she/he /(we?)

"WAS one OF them

i SHOULDA KNOWN THAT "PEOPLE lIKE mE" NEVER BECOME "PEOPLE Like uS"

(it seems to be "in the script")

 

unscripted perhaps is how much "this connection" clearly despised what I had become

in the last 16 years.

at this was "on the surface"

Pre - RE-Domed

everything was wrong with my attitude

everything was wrong with my "not coming to my senses"

Why My sense of taste was even

questionable

(maybe that's why that lemonaid tasted so f-f-f-unny I was served.

and why i got so s-s-s-ick afterward)

 

or is the correct word dreamy

GOOD GOSH

why is it so fucking important to be Likable "with these people"

IT DOESNT TAKE A MIND READER

to see I lost my way on Tobacco Road

 

show me The Wat to Go Home

show me the money

you Showed me how to do exactly what you do and now I love you too oh -oh  O it's true

you feel for me too

 

Time to get UP

Dumbo! a voice that sounds suspiscious Francoesque

whispers in my ear

(oh thank god...it's not the OTHER Franco.)

 

PAYBACK Jumbo

for fucking IT UP!!!!!! the first time around

for telling

for smelling

for swellagencia

 

for Squ---------eaking

fer" talkin bout Them Wilder Psalms being woven and DROVE(n)

 

and BEHOLDEN

                                                                                                                                    I try not to think

                                                                                                                                    I try not to think

                                                                                                                                    I try not to think

 

 



by the Phaerohs who want me back
in the 21st century Fox Hole
to once again
"see how it works" on monkeys

the key word here
is SEE
                                                                                                                 oooooo the advancements
                                                                                                                 that were made in just 16 years

nanoNemoRemoBeam-O Bum

"let's lose the Remo Williams bit JIMBO! we already have one of those"
" Huh " I say to Him taking another sip as she pats the top of my head for a long time.
Her hand pushing more than patting
"did she just say that?" I ask myself
or am I just
Hearing things
 Again