fair game
Phila- 2012 april another detractor.
another acquaintance who goes on the list.
the list of Perisherables.
i sometimes throw away the list when i am in a good mood.
or move various perishables up and down on the list.
those who will be left behind
or left to their own devices
when the bough breaks etc etc.
a jokester type.you know the type always something to say.
especially when he knows he shouldnt .he's just intching though to say the wrong thing.deliberately.especially if it might hurt you.
Or hurt the Cause at hand.
in this case the blog.(it is not really a blog it is just an easy way to not lose paper)
people who say the wrong thing sometimes cant help it.people with tourettes ,aspergers ,other stuff.they can't help it.you see.it's in them like a piece of something inbetween your teeth.
that is different from this other type.
in a big way
i can tell the differnece .i know these things i sense these things.
he says."so Hows the manifesto.i read it today.the Manifesto....yap yap yap he goes on.putting it down.
he's on the list.is all i can say.
it was just time before he got there anyway.
but it got me thinking besides.
maybe this is some manefesto.
and is that a bad thing?
and maybe i must move away from the computer and all things that beep and light up and make noise and bug me .like tv and phones .
like other manifesto writers seem too.
it;s supposedly not good to write a manifesto.they seem to put those people away sometimes.
so maybe i'll just go away sometime soon .and write it anyway .but be very careful not to call it that.
or something biblical .which is really more what it is.
but thats not good either.
it sounds a bit...uh...self important and arrogant to say one has been chosen to write the New Way
especially when i have taken so many liberties with what I have heard and experienced
from word on high.
I am not a very good writer.and i have very little social skills.but i can tell instantly who
is what .
you'd be suprised.
.
another acquaintance who goes on the list.
the list of Perisherables.
i sometimes throw away the list when i am in a good mood.
or move various perishables up and down on the list.
those who will be left behind
or left to their own devices
when the bough breaks etc etc.
a jokester type.you know the type always something to say.
especially when he knows he shouldnt .he's just intching though to say the wrong thing.deliberately.especially if it might hurt you.
Or hurt the Cause at hand.
in this case the blog.(it is not really a blog it is just an easy way to not lose paper)
people who say the wrong thing sometimes cant help it.people with tourettes ,aspergers ,other stuff.they can't help it.you see.it's in them like a piece of something inbetween your teeth.
that is different from this other type.
in a big way
i can tell the differnece .i know these things i sense these things.
he says."so Hows the manifesto.i read it today.the Manifesto....yap yap yap he goes on.putting it down.
he's on the list.is all i can say.
it was just time before he got there anyway.
but it got me thinking besides.
maybe this is some manefesto.
and is that a bad thing?
and maybe i must move away from the computer and all things that beep and light up and make noise and bug me .like tv and phones .
like other manifesto writers seem too.
it;s supposedly not good to write a manifesto.they seem to put those people away sometimes.
so maybe i'll just go away sometime soon .and write it anyway .but be very careful not to call it that.
or something biblical .which is really more what it is.
but thats not good either.
it sounds a bit...uh...self important and arrogant to say one has been chosen to write the New Way
especially when i have taken so many liberties with what I have heard and experienced
from word on high.
I am not a very good writer.and i have very little social skills.but i can tell instantly who
is what .
you'd be suprised.
.
Thursday, April 26, 2012 the New Way.saved me..Neuronautics saved me.Gary Rainy's teachings save me .from myself..this isn't about Merge bio tech..but emerging..it's a tool.is all ..training wheels..screw all Ruiners who think i joined a cult..No..no not quite..THEY are the Cult
.oh by all means read on and amuse yourself ...though.one way or another your reaction has been recorded....by Entities...and any right minded soul knows without knowing that what i say is the truth.I can write this you see.because I have been punished and therefore purified..Ruiner sense this.they do not understand that
"goodness comes at the end.I am not so far from good. now..but luckily much further away from "Nice" Becuas e.Nice is a lie.Good .I desire.more and more.it was not" good "to come back to philly.I am not Good here.I am not here to rest or recover.not really.I am confused and angry is all.and lost.I fear leaving to whereever i go next because i do not have the proper things to continue on my journey.stuff like money and credit.usually I am provided for.somehow.but I ran.I couldnt change.I am stupid here.
you write this for attention I hear
in adavnce
do I?
Do I write this for attention
maybe it started as something else.way months ago.it is different now.
somehow it is.
yes I needed attention cuz i used this previously as a way to show art.and some haphazzard attempts at screen writng etc..
now.
no.
i thought quite hard about this.
nor do i now think there are people with money to promote theis New Way.I was presented with.
or even cash enuf for me to move more freely to write my sometimes ordained jottings.( i cannot help but toss in my own bits of..bits and stuff cuz I am for now at least too too human and stuck so in the old way
did i just notice a "masked" though implied squeak for donation
for unfettered and much needed Thought and dilligence to the task at hand.
I am guilty.I am guilty of need.
of need of Time and some mild comfort to compose The New Way anthems in such a fashion that I am only Beholden to true Forces
yes future detractor ! I seem stupid and half assed now.! but you shall see the progression
even if i go far from computers and cities.
fuck you ! who judges my raging as coarse!
I am also often pulverized by my "bosses",The forces,the powers that be(they can make my left arm hurt.and sometimes my leg becomes like that guy in the Usual Suspects.)why? because i think they like subordination.
sometimes i believe that is there only reason for these specific games
a schizophrenic you say.
garden variety psychotic
.and he bores me.
this is going nowhere
HA!
this schizo-brainsalad meandering mealymouthedmendacity is my cover .my shield.
who amongst you is not afraid of insanity!
of your own and others?
(ha! when the clock hits the fan .who will be ready.and able .to take it (AND GIVE IT back!)but the LUNATIC.and than you shall ask him for help help help.
Ha.you didnt even throw him a piece of bread.RUN FOR your lives!no
walk.it doesnt matter.
.oh by all means read on and amuse yourself ...though.one way or another your reaction has been recorded....by Entities...and any right minded soul knows without knowing that what i say is the truth.I can write this you see.because I have been punished and therefore purified..Ruiner sense this.they do not understand that
"goodness comes at the end.I am not so far from good. now..but luckily much further away from "Nice" Becuas e.Nice is a lie.Good .I desire.more and more.it was not" good "to come back to philly.I am not Good here.I am not here to rest or recover.not really.I am confused and angry is all.and lost.I fear leaving to whereever i go next because i do not have the proper things to continue on my journey.stuff like money and credit.usually I am provided for.somehow.but I ran.I couldnt change.I am stupid here.
you write this for attention I hear
in adavnce
do I?
Do I write this for attention
maybe it started as something else.way months ago.it is different now.
somehow it is.
yes I needed attention cuz i used this previously as a way to show art.and some haphazzard attempts at screen writng etc..
now.
no.
i thought quite hard about this.
nor do i now think there are people with money to promote theis New Way.I was presented with.
or even cash enuf for me to move more freely to write my sometimes ordained jottings.( i cannot help but toss in my own bits of..bits and stuff cuz I am for now at least too too human and stuck so in the old way
did i just notice a "masked" though implied squeak for donation
for unfettered and much needed Thought and dilligence to the task at hand.
I am guilty.I am guilty of need.
of need of Time and some mild comfort to compose The New Way anthems in such a fashion that I am only Beholden to true Forces
yes future detractor ! I seem stupid and half assed now.! but you shall see the progression
even if i go far from computers and cities.
fuck you ! who judges my raging as coarse!
I am also often pulverized by my "bosses",The forces,the powers that be(they can make my left arm hurt.and sometimes my leg becomes like that guy in the Usual Suspects.)why? because i think they like subordination.
sometimes i believe that is there only reason for these specific games
a schizophrenic you say.
garden variety psychotic
.and he bores me.
this is going nowhere
HA!
this schizo-brainsalad meandering mealymouthedmendacity is my cover .my shield.
who amongst you is not afraid of insanity!
of your own and others?
(ha! when the clock hits the fan .who will be ready.and able .to take it (AND GIVE IT back!)but the LUNATIC.and than you shall ask him for help help help.
Ha.you didnt even throw him a piece of bread.RUN FOR your lives!no
walk.it doesnt matter.
funny that I recieved little guff when discussing the technological aspects of my Neuronautic Mentorship.
and my
communication Process with thE"apps" they shoved in my arm for the interneural interface
no..that didn't bother my roomates..XXXX just says ''''shhhhhhh"like he knows....it''s so odd seeing him again..since I came back from LA he seems so fuckable...it's Liam who is the problem..the other roomates are just stoned...or "out" ...that's what's good about rooming with actors..they always are out "networking" ...dating ...for a part...I find myself judging them...mainly cuz' they judge me...and say ..How can a Jew be a Neuronaut..how can a Fag be a Neuronaut...Neuronautics hates fags and jews..Oooh really...? they took that out of "the book" you dike ..Liam is ok but ...thinks I'm like swengali-ed or something..he didnt mind me explaing the "tech" but goes all Ruiner on me
when I talk about the Divine aspects of Neuronautics..and can see why they didn't want me to come back to ...people who would MAKE ME revert...my Face to face team expalined ..that Ruiners "will say anything" to bring a person who is Higher On the Scale of Human Being ship down to their level...d that i will be wasting my breath and Beingship trying to explain Gary Rainy's teachings. Liam has I am beginniung to think a Ruiner Life Force..he makes me always in a defensive mode.and want to punch him while I explain Neuronautics IS a religion and not corperation.People who talk like that ...shouldnt be allowed to TALK at all.. Questions Gary Rainy says are usually Ruiner WAY of trying to jumble up.people who ve found The New WAY.
my talk of The Forces seems to scare Liam
.He says my eyes get funny when I speak of it.
He fears, he says that I will not "come back"..He seems to think I "am gone"
I stop my pacing .I have an idea how i "come off" to him
and this idea collides with a tear coming down Liam's face.
and suddenly I feel like tearing up as well.
one feeling leads to another
.I think of Liam"s true concern for my "sanity"
thought come.too fast
my mother
.my father
.not as 'symbols" but as real people.
I think about how I have written about them "in my story"
collateral damage .
symbols. cues .as "bianary data" to clear my head.and soul
I have been so removed from emotion and warmth since so much of this began last spring.and even before.I am close with no one now.Only the Forces.
I stop myself.
Before I "regress"
Liam called Proxy 's methods into question.How he said they were not benevalent .and .how they manipulate people
"why shouldnt they manipulate.Why shouldnt they try to alter me?Did you read "the blog " as you call it from the beginning?Did you read how I wrote about my family.My "friends"I was crueler than. i had to be broken .to be fixed again!I was all too willing to code-ify and simplify my ties with humanity into symbols and a series of ones and zeroes."
yes .
a secret .rather swarmy voice comes in my ear shot "everything all at once .everything all at once"WHAT IS your automatic thought RIGHT NOW
whatever it is.Never give in to prolonging a delicate,loving thought that has passed it's experation.(although it might have been good .and WARM.It will become UNREAL and FALSE if you milk it.if you try to pretrend you can HOLD IT longer than you really can.DO NOT CONFUSE your FELLOWMAN with FALSE SEEMINGS.
FEW will survive.
butTHE ANIMAL MAN.The caVEman.Go deeper to that core ..NO fAlse manners or lies of how "human" you are...better to be thought a criminal than carrying on further Lies
better to BE a criminal than
ACT
"the whole world is now actors.Nobody knows what they are .what's going to happen when something happens.and nobody knows INSTINCT"
"who put this shit in your head," he says
"Fuck this"I say putting my coat on.IN sarcastic crazy style I say "space aliens told me dumbass"
"I wouldnt go out when youre like this..."
I take my coat off or half off,thinking he might want to ,I don't know be informed maybe.
"now.If everyone is acting.How will I know .or how will you know who you don't want for lack of a better term "left behind?Why would I throw myself in front of some wigger meth freak to save your ass when the End Begins if i can't tell if you're you or acting like you think a human should act.and where did you learn this way of being.of acting.""
Liam literally throws up his hands.I am "crazy".Proxy has put words in my head.He wants me back to the nice guy i was.
ör was that an act Jim?"
and my
communication Process with thE"apps" they shoved in my arm for the interneural interface
no..that didn't bother my roomates..XXXX just says ''''shhhhhhh"like he knows....it''s so odd seeing him again..since I came back from LA he seems so fuckable...it's Liam who is the problem..the other roomates are just stoned...or "out" ...that's what's good about rooming with actors..they always are out "networking" ...dating ...for a part...I find myself judging them...mainly cuz' they judge me...and say ..How can a Jew be a Neuronaut..how can a Fag be a Neuronaut...Neuronautics hates fags and jews..Oooh really...? they took that out of "the book" you dike ..Liam is ok but ...thinks I'm like swengali-ed or something..he didnt mind me explaing the "tech" but goes all Ruiner on me
when I talk about the Divine aspects of Neuronautics..and can see why they didn't want me to come back to ...people who would MAKE ME revert...my Face to face team expalined ..that Ruiners "will say anything" to bring a person who is Higher On the Scale of Human Being ship down to their level...d that i will be wasting my breath and Beingship trying to explain Gary Rainy's teachings. Liam has I am beginniung to think a Ruiner Life Force..he makes me always in a defensive mode.and want to punch him while I explain Neuronautics IS a religion and not corperation.People who talk like that ...shouldnt be allowed to TALK at all.. Questions Gary Rainy says are usually Ruiner WAY of trying to jumble up.people who ve found The New WAY.
my talk of The Forces seems to scare Liam
.He says my eyes get funny when I speak of it.
He fears, he says that I will not "come back"..He seems to think I "am gone"
I stop my pacing .I have an idea how i "come off" to him
and this idea collides with a tear coming down Liam's face.
and suddenly I feel like tearing up as well.
one feeling leads to another
.I think of Liam"s true concern for my "sanity"
thought come.too fast
my mother
.my father
.not as 'symbols" but as real people.
I think about how I have written about them "in my story"
collateral damage .
symbols. cues .as "bianary data" to clear my head.and soul
I have been so removed from emotion and warmth since so much of this began last spring.and even before.I am close with no one now.Only the Forces.
I stop myself.
Before I "regress"
Liam called Proxy 's methods into question.How he said they were not benevalent .and .how they manipulate people
"why shouldnt they manipulate.Why shouldnt they try to alter me?Did you read "the blog " as you call it from the beginning?Did you read how I wrote about my family.My "friends"I was crueler than. i had to be broken .to be fixed again!I was all too willing to code-ify and simplify my ties with humanity into symbols and a series of ones and zeroes."
yes .
a secret .rather swarmy voice comes in my ear shot "everything all at once .everything all at once"WHAT IS your automatic thought RIGHT NOW
whatever it is.Never give in to prolonging a delicate,loving thought that has passed it's experation.(although it might have been good .and WARM.It will become UNREAL and FALSE if you milk it.if you try to pretrend you can HOLD IT longer than you really can.DO NOT CONFUSE your FELLOWMAN with FALSE SEEMINGS.
FEW will survive.
butTHE ANIMAL MAN.The caVEman.Go deeper to that core ..NO fAlse manners or lies of how "human" you are...better to be thought a criminal than carrying on further Lies
better to BE a criminal than
ACT
"the whole world is now actors.Nobody knows what they are .what's going to happen when something happens.and nobody knows INSTINCT"
"who put this shit in your head," he says
"Fuck this"I say putting my coat on.IN sarcastic crazy style I say "space aliens told me dumbass"
"I wouldnt go out when youre like this..."
I take my coat off or half off,thinking he might want to ,I don't know be informed maybe.
"now.If everyone is acting.How will I know .or how will you know who you don't want for lack of a better term "left behind?Why would I throw myself in front of some wigger meth freak to save your ass when the End Begins if i can't tell if you're you or acting like you think a human should act.and where did you learn this way of being.of acting.""
Liam literally throws up his hands.I am "crazy".Proxy has put words in my head.He wants me back to the nice guy i was.
ör was that an act Jim?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
October 17th 2010
I"dear Jim ..really like your work are you still in CA? I work "****Studios..can we meet. Have an idea for a book.. Los Angles i'll bring my own set of works?
posted by jimbloom @ 1:18 PM
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