they like me
destitute
they like me having
little else to do but stare
at a ceiling all day

the ceiling Evan graphed
is all you  need
it's a clean palate
clean canvas
to dream

but I always fuck it up
i picture
nasty
scary things that frighten Evan,not always
but sometimes I resent the intrusion
and get embarrassed when Evan is nice sending me nicer and nicer images

i recoil and picture some childhood humiliation
and hate Evan for knowing,seeing it enacted

so do I Evan graphs

than take off your fuckin headset scumbag,who gave you the right to do this

do you want to quit or do you want to learn

both

no .
i want to quit..

ok than we'll
flay you
alive
like physically torture you

i mean he graphs
wouldn't it be nice
to get
that kinda
neural read
your very nerve endings screaming

I tell them
I will just go
meow meow meow meow like the Purina cat chow commercial
all through my
flaying

you think so Dumbo

I know so ASSHOLE !

he settles down
and graphs me a rainbow and some clouds
but all I can think of is this flaying business

and big bizzness it is Dumbo

now let's start again,he graphs,I feel his smile

 

i send him a rainbow but it has little pieces of lint and spiders in it

 

 

not bad  Dumbo.not that good but not  that bad